Before Saudi Arabia, the WWF headed to Birmingham, England for a glorified house show, and it takes us a pack of spiked seltzer and several shots of vodka to get through it. Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Dude Love present a by the numbers match. Tiger Ali Singh cuts a face promo that calls into question if he has any idea what a face is. Los Boriquas and the Head Bangers put together a surprisingly fun, logical match. Flash Funk and the Patriot fart. Hawk lets loose more beautiful nonsense. Vader and Owen show just how good they are and recast their match on the fly. Bret “Hitman” Hart and Undertaker go for close to 30 minutes and undo all the awesome they put together in a heartbeat. And home-country hero and possible puppet enthusiast Davey Boy Smith takes on the hated Shawn Michaels for the European Championship in the only match that actually matters.

Theme song “There Are Traitors in Our Midst” by Disco Vietnam

Art by Alexis Yavne