Dildo Gate strikes again—two WNBA games, two arrests (and one man still on the run), plus a bizarre crypto tie-in with the launch of “Green Dildo Coin.” We break down the timeline, the suspects, and the memecoin madness. Also: Malik Beasley’s eviction saga, Jen Pawol making MLB history as the first woman umpire, Jordan Addison’s NFL suspension, LSU’s JT Lindsey facing felony charges, and this week’s “Biggest Pickle”—Terrell Suggs waving a gun in a Starbucks drive-thru.

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