This episode we will be looking at gender identity and understanding that any identity you explore is valid and you can totally change it however many times you like until you find the ways that help you feel good about you.

There is no single way to do gender. It is the most personal adventure you may ever go on. And there is definitely NOTHING wrong with exploring all the possibilities of how you may choose to identify.

I have seen so many different gender non confirming people sharing their stories about how they had begun exploring their gender identity within the binary. Some of them had pursued surgical avenues or started hormones.

But as they learned more about themselves and experienced the world and grew as people, they felt that their initial transition choices to live a trans binary identity was not aligning with who they felt they were becoming.

At this point you may be thinking, what a beautiful and inspiring story of self discovery, and it totally is. Unfortunately, this is not the view shared by all trans binary folks.

What my gender anarchist kin experienced from members of the Trans binary community was that it wasn't ok at all to transition away from the binary.

There is a view from some binary Trans folks that if a person transitions within the binary but then continues to transition and move beyond the binary, that they are "Trenders".

A Trender is someone who does things or acts in a way that is socially perceived as trending at a certain time.

So what these binary Trans folks are saying is that if a person initially transitions within the binary but then transitions again, to express a gender non conforming identity, this person is simply following trends and their identity is fake.

Now I don't know about you, but that is a totally unacceptable view to have in my opinion. This is gender policing. It's ultra harmful for members of the gender diverse community.

Let's make some things clear....

A person can express their gender identity or any identity really, any ploppin way they like. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or whether anyone else understands.

We are not here to justify our self expression to folks within the binary and we do not have to pick a label and fulfil a stereotype based on that choice.

A person that lives beyond the binary does NOT have to be androgynous. They can present themselves to the world in any way they like.

There is a huge difference between feeling that you fit within the binary or even fluctuate within it for my gender fluid kin out there, and wearing clothes that society has labeled as men's or women's.

There is definitely NOT a rule that says once you've picked an identity that you have to live with it for forever and ever and it can never change. Seriously, how inflexible is that. You are not a Trender if you decide to change your self expression.

Our identities can change as we grow and experience new things in our lives and allowing our self expression to develop with that is just healthy!

You can choose any pronouns, combination of pronouns or lack of pronouns that you feel good about. This goes for your sexual identity as well.

You do not have to explain or justify who you are to any person. And if they are someone from the TGD community then shame on them for contributing to the toxic cycles that perpetuates the current socially enforced gender binary that we a made to exist within.

There is so much hurt within our community. We are all in this together. What we need to do is show respect...