We satirists can’t resist a good quirky romance story, so we decided to cover the film Only Lovers Left Alive this week, a movie about bohemian vegan vampires in love. And since they’re vampires they’ve been in love for hundreds of years. How do they keep the spark alive you ask? Why by living apart for a lifetime or two until they get bored of being alone and begrudgingly getting back together in Detroit. We told you they were madly in love right? Also things in the world around them are falling apart and microplastics are destroying their food supply. How romantic!