Oh God...why are we even doing this? Let's see what kind of crazy backflips of justification we can do to reincorporate this whacko into the fold. Come for the flimflam plot, stay for the extended erection bits.

Special Agent Danica Patrick, No Relation- Liz Anderson

Intern Wade Anderson- Patrick Bodenhausen

Professor Barnabus- James Freetly

Artwork by Blair Britt