***THIS IS AN ADDENDUM, PLEASE START AT EPISODE 19*** In this addendum to episode 19 I tell my story of a particularly bad night when I was ten years old. 1997 was the worst year of my life, and Alanis Morissette was a friend who through her music was able to help me deal with trauma. The anguish and the catharsis of her music shaped my childhood and I want to share that story with you here. Just as Tori Amos would years later, the emotional release of songs like "right through you;" "not the doctor;" and "wake up" were critical for me to connect with a rapidly changing home environment. We all have our own cross to bear, and my story is not necessarily any better or worse than anyone else's. However, I have thought long and hard about why we share our despair at all. Partly it is a personal relief and release. Partly it is so that others can find their own method to deal with their own pain. This is my method, but I hope that it helps you to in your own journey. Please consider consulting your local crisis centre if you are upset or triggered by any of the sensitive material covered in this episode.