Episode 2: “I Got You” – Preparing for Peace in the Wilderness

What does it mean to prepare for peace when your own life feels anything but peaceful? In this episode, we follow Pastor Mat Thomas into the wilderness of infertility, foster care, and adoption, and we meet John the Baptist and Catherine of Siena along the way.

Mat and his wife I’Esha longed for children and walked through the heartbreak of fertility challenges. Their story winds through doctors’ appointments, prayers that felt unanswered, and eventually a call to become foster parents. As Mat tells the story of saying yes to Martin, Russ, and later Braydon, we sit with the tension of foster care: whose good news is this, and who carries the cost?

Alongside Mat’s story, we listen again to John the Baptist crying out in the wilderness, “Prepare the way of the Lord,” and we meet Catherine of Siena, who imagined Christ as a bridge between God and a wounded world. Catherine speaks of the “cell of self-knowledge,” an inner place where we let God show us our real hearts so we can keep walking in love without numbing out or running away.

In this conversation, those images braid together:

The wilderness where life does not look like the script we hoped for

The bridge where we stand with Christ over deep and dangerous waters

The cell where we sit honestly with our fear, longing, and love in the presence of God

At the center of the episode is a moment in church. During the doxology, a not-quite-one-year-old Braydon runs across the sanctuary, wraps himself around Mat’s legs, and will not let go. Mat picks him up, looks him in the eyes, and says, “It’s gonna be okay, buddy. I got you.” The episode returns to this moment as a living picture of the promises of baptism, the wilderness of infertility, the complexity of foster care, and the quiet way peace sometimes arrives in our lives.

In this episode we explore:

Infertility, grief, and the wilderness places that shake what we believe about God

How a local church became a second family for an 18-year-old Mat, and how that shaped his ability to welcome others

The tension at the heart of foster care and adoption: holding love for the children and their first family at the same time

Catherine of Siena’s “cell of self-knowledge” and Christ as a bridge between God and a suffering world

How silence and stillness can become places where we finally hear God say, “I got you”

A simple practice for your own wilderness

Near the end of the episode, I guide a short reflection. You can use it here as a written prayer practice:

Notice a wilderness place in your life right now. A place of not knowing. A place of longing. A place of uncertainty. Name it quietly to yourself.

Notice what feelings live there. Do not argue with them or correct them. Let them be real.

Imagine a small, honest inner room. Picture it as your own “cell of self-knowledge,” where God is already waiting for you.

Hear these words spoken to you in that place: “It’s going to be okay. I got you.”

Let that be your peace for this week of Advent.

About the voices you hear

Rev. Mat Thomas is the pastor at Bethel Church of the Nazarene in Quincy, Massachusetts. He is married to I’Esha, and together they are parents to three boys: Martin, Russ, and Braydon. Matt’s ministry is shaped by his own story of finding belonging in a local Nazarene congregation as a teenager.

Dr. Julene Tegerstrand is a spiritual director and the co-founder of Everyday Peacemaking. She works at the intersection of spiritual formation, conflict transformation, and everyday peacemaking, helping people cultivate inner resources for hard conversations and seasons of disruption.

Credits

Waiting in Wonder is a four-part Advent miniseries on peace, hope, joy, and love, sponsored by the New England District Church of the Nazarene.

Story and narration: Julene Tegerstrand

Guest: Rev. Matt Thomas

Doxology recording and Waiting in Wonder theme: Rev. Dr. John Nielsen

Music: Blue Dot Sessions, including tracks from the album Migration

If this story has stirred something in you, consider sharing this episode with someone who might need company in their own wilderness this Advent.

Get full access to Human Is A Verb: Julene Tegerstrand, Ph.D. at humanisaverb.substack.com/subscribe