We're back, bitches! And by "back," we mean Kelly's still on her permanent vacation while Christy's drowning in back-to-school chaos with two kids who think the doctor's office is their personal comedy stage.

This episode has it all: Christy accidentally booking a beach vacation during the first week of school (oops), Kelly's daughter moving out (cue the tears and immediate room conversion plans), and a very important breaking news announcement about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce that literally stops the show.

We dive deep into the essential back-to-school supplies - spoiler alert: wine makes the list - and why packing lunches is basically asking parents to meal prep for tiny food critics who change their minds hourly. Plus, Christy shares her epic meltdown at the pediatrician's office when her son decided to cosplay as a T-Rex during their annual checkup.

Other highlights include:

• Why family trips are NOT vacations (fight us)
• Christy's ongoing battle with subscription meal services she definitely didn't sign up for
• Kelly's fence guys providing the soundtrack to chaos
• The geography lesson where we learn Florida is apparently not the East Coast
• Why Gen X parents would have handled interruptions very differently
• Our retirement plan that involves you listening to us complain about life

Fair warning: We go completely off the rails multiple times, but that's why you love us. Also, if you're looking for actual parenting advice, maybe try a different podcast. We're just here trying to survive with our sanity (mostly) intact.

Subscribe, share with your mom friends, and remember - if you're having a bad parenting day, at least your kid probably didn't act like a dinosaur at the doctor's office. Probably.