Code To Connection

Episode 22 - How to overcome approach anxiety


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In this video I talk about overcoming approach anxiety, particularly in the context of initiating conversations with women.


 It addresses the common fears and misconceptions that contribute to approach anxiety, viewing it as a form of social anxiety linked to inexperience, low self-esteem, and past negative experiences. 


The video critiques traditional pickup strategies and emphasizes the importance of building a healthy self-esteem and genuine connections as the foundation for approaching women. The approach includes understanding personal history, overcoming mental blocks through EMDR-informed coaching, and practicing graded exposure to social situations. The ultimate goal is to enable viewers to confidently and respectfully approach women, thereby transforming not only their love lives but their overall confidence and social interactions.


00:00 Introduction to Overcoming Approach Anxiety

01:20 Understanding Approach Anxiety

03:32 The Purpose and Function of Approach Anxiety

04:32 Traditional and Unhealthy Approaches to Dating

07:06 A Healthier Approach to Building Relationships

09:47 Practical Steps to Overcome Approach Anxiety

11:53 The Importance of Taking Action and Final Thoughts


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Code To ConnectionBy Dr Mari Kovanen