Blended families get judged. No doubt about it. The kids get judged, they come from a broken family, they are going to have issues in school, and in relationships in the future. And the adults do too. They didn't try hard enough in the previous marriage, they gave up too easily, or be careful around them. In this episode, Paige and Darren explore the judgment they have made and have been victims.

Judging Divorced People

• Common Judgements
  • They were selfish
  • They were bad communicators
  • They were lazy
  • They didn't put their kids first
  • They didn't have faith
• People of Divorce carry the big "D" or "F" for failure
• Divorce is a scary thing. Many people want to steer clear of it for fear of it becoming their own reality.
  • When Paige went through her divorce, so of her friends or their husbands were concerned about divorce being contagious.
  • Darren felt the same way before his divorce and steered clear of divorcing couples.
• Having a friend or relative going through divorce increases divorce by 17% according to pew research.

Being Judged

• How can a divorced person get through the stigma.
• We feel like we have to prove ourselves. People judge us before they know us.
• Divorced people just want to feel approved of and accepted by those we care about.
• What people think of you is none of your business. Anonymous in Artcle at the Huffington post
• When divorcing people start telling friends and family about their impending split, one great worry they have is, "What will people think?" Fear of criticism and the judgment of others abounds.

Judging Kids of Divorce and Blended Families

• Kids of Divorce are broken
  • Mental Health Problems
  • Behavior Problems
  • Poor Academic Performance
  • Risk-Taking Behaviors
• Instead of judging, have more patience, Give our kids the benefit of the doubt. Try to be understanding.
• Kids are navigating a lot. They are balancing two households. Maybe additional new parents or more adults
• Final Judgement and Immediate Judgement.
  • Final Judgement means you write someone off completely.
  • The immediate judgment gives the person the opportunity  be seen as who we really are.

Lemonade Moment of the Week

Stress filled weekend as Madeline prepares for her drivers test. She got it. 

Links

• https://www.verywellfamily.com/psychological-effects-of-divorce-on-kids-4140170
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/contemplating-divorce/201101/what-will-people-think-when-they-find-out-im-divorcing
• https://www.huffpost.com/entry/5-things-i-used-to-judge-_b_6123356