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This episode starts off with some lighter reflections on Galentine’s Day and the beautiful depth of female friendships. But things take a turn when we start unpacking the differences between how men and women bond, and the elusive magic of finding a solid “dad group.”

We also dive into:

The Gender Divide in Friendships: Why do men default to side-by-side recreation (like golf or basketball) while women bond face-to-face? Also, it can be hard to make parent friends you actually want to hang out with when the kids aren’t around.

The “Masculinity” Debate: This is where things get spicy—we get into a fierce debate about domestic inequality and Ben shares some thoughts on how the push for household equality (yes, even just doing the dishes) clashes with “natural manliness.” I push back—hard—against this “internet bro” narrative, because being an equal partner in your own home does not emasculate you. (Do we need to cancel Ben now? Yikes.)

Rethinking “Date Night”: We talk about the absolute logistical nightmare that is the traditional evening date night—finding a sitter, the exhaustion, the expense—and share our new favorite strategy for staying connected: the Friday daytime lunch date.

This episode is a little bit of everything—including a reminder that if you’re currently navigating the messy, out-of-whack scales of household labor inequality, you are in very good company.