A star is nearly murdered repeatedly as the WWF descends on Pittsburgh, PA. In the most famous match of the night, Undertaker and Mankind battle on top of a cell and a whole lot of thumbtacks. Steve Austin and Kane fight for the WWF Championship in a first blood match, but not, like, a FIRST first blood match. The Rock and Ken Shamrock duke it out for King of the Ring honors, though their semi-final opponents leave much to be desired. Al Snow’s gimmick match is Head and Shoulders above all others. Also, there are two bonus matches. What is a bonus match? We’re not sure either.

Theme song “There Are Traitors in Our Midst” by Disco Vietnam

Art by Alexis Yavne