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I went through an awful divorce in 2016 to 2018.
I thought my wife and I were doing all the right things to save our marriage (go to church, talk, pray, go to marriage seminars, etc) but still, we ended up in a divorce.
Since that time I have been doing a lot of my own trauma work, a lot more praying and had, I think, I bit of good insight.
Essentially, I thought was doing all the right things (good job, good income, good, vacations, nice house, went to church, prayed and so forth). I didn't do the bad things (yell, drink, smoke, do drugs, have affairs or whatever) but what I didn't know how to do was to create a safe emotional connection. I had no model for that and neither did my ex wife.
What is a safe emotional connection? It is a safe space where you can share your feelings, be heard, be validated, get hugged, feel safe no matter what the topic.
I was unable to consistently do that for my ex and she was unable to do that for me. In this epsisode I explore more about what that really means and how you can avoid the traps that we fell into.
As always, thank you for joining me. If you have questions or comments, feel free to email me at [email protected].
Also, check out my youtube channel (The Curious Counselor).
May your day be filled with compassionate thoughts, kind words and actions, and curiosity in all things today and every day.
Alan Pennington
The Curious Counselor
By Alan Pennington5
44 ratings
I went through an awful divorce in 2016 to 2018.
I thought my wife and I were doing all the right things to save our marriage (go to church, talk, pray, go to marriage seminars, etc) but still, we ended up in a divorce.
Since that time I have been doing a lot of my own trauma work, a lot more praying and had, I think, I bit of good insight.
Essentially, I thought was doing all the right things (good job, good income, good, vacations, nice house, went to church, prayed and so forth). I didn't do the bad things (yell, drink, smoke, do drugs, have affairs or whatever) but what I didn't know how to do was to create a safe emotional connection. I had no model for that and neither did my ex wife.
What is a safe emotional connection? It is a safe space where you can share your feelings, be heard, be validated, get hugged, feel safe no matter what the topic.
I was unable to consistently do that for my ex and she was unable to do that for me. In this epsisode I explore more about what that really means and how you can avoid the traps that we fell into.
As always, thank you for joining me. If you have questions or comments, feel free to email me at [email protected].
Also, check out my youtube channel (The Curious Counselor).
May your day be filled with compassionate thoughts, kind words and actions, and curiosity in all things today and every day.
Alan Pennington
The Curious Counselor