Over 50% of relationships end in divorces, and one of the biggest things couples fight about is money. Financial infidelity can be a factor in many of these disputes, so today on the show we wanted to share our thoughts on the matter. One of the main points we make is that there are nuances to the discussion of financial infidelity! The dictionary defines financial infidelity as any time you lie to your spouse about anything money-related. There are, however, obviously going to be situations where you can make purchases that are not disclosed and that you should not feel guilty about. However, a partner could be making financial decisions that jeopardize the future of your relationship, and these are not okay. Another big point we make is that if a partner is keeping threatening financial choices to themselves and you find out somehow, this could be seen as an opportunity to work through the problem together and get to a stronger place in your relationship. After all, everybody has different experiences of money growing up that affect how they handle it later in life. At the end of the day, working out matters of money is all about clear communication. Having honest conversations about finances from the get-go in a relationship, and continuing them regularly, can save couples from future problems as well as help them both set and achieve their mutual goals!

Key Points From This Episode:

• What financial infidelity is, how often it occurs, and the different types that exist.
• The value of writing things down or having monthly sit-downs around financial matters.
• How one’s upbringing affects the level of openness one has around money matters.
• Having a ‘f*ck off’ fund as a woman and whether that constitutes financial infidelity.
• How Kelly and Megan’s childhood families handled money conversations and the effects of this on their decisions.
• Dealing with feelings of guilt moms get about spending money on self-care.
• How Kelly and Megan handle financial matters with their families.
• The value that moms bring to the household and the money they deserve for that.
• Our definition of financial infidelity; major issues of dishonesty around money like gambling.
• Steps to take if you are experiencing financial infidelity from your partner.
• Situations where it is OK to have compassion for a partner committing financial infidelity.
• The possibility of getting to a stronger place in your relationship after working through financial dishonesty.
• Remembering not to bring up past infidelity that has been dealt with as a way of winning an argument.
• Avoiding future issues around money by having honest conversations early in the relationship.
• Figuring out how to handle finances when each partner earns a different salary.
• Having a rule where purchases over a threshold need to be disclosed.

Tweetables:

“Most of these issues can be resolved with honesty, transparency, and having regular conversations.” — Megan Block [0:05:54]

“For me, what I equate with financial infidelity in a serious level is compulsive shopping, or gambling debt.” — Megan Block [0:24:14]

“We're talking about financial infidelity that really shakes you to the core, and makes you feel seriously betrayed, and affects your ability to live your life individually, and what that does to your name, and all of that.” — Kelly Castillo [0:25:39]

“The problem-solving conversation that you have, or the conflict resolution conversation that you have, no matter what the topic is, should always be you and your partner, versus the problem. Not you versus your partner.” — Megan Block [0:55:13]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Kelly Castillo

Megan Block