The Crate and Crowbar

Episode 310: Always The Ball, Never The Paddle


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Tom S, Chris and Marsh seek the Creature in the Well, guiltily juggle men in Dynasty Warriors 8, revisit the roots of the RTS in Warcraft 3: Reforged, crave decapitation in Mordau and assess the early access jank of Warhammer Underworlds: Online.

“Stay off the tracks.”

  • What’s that emerging from the frigid tundra of January? Is it…? Could it be… news? Holy fuck!
  • Torchlight Frontiers has morphed into Torchlight 3, shedding its F2P plans along the way.
  • Innocent children’s entertainment: Thomas The Tank Engine
  • Henry: Portrait of a Se-RAIL Killer
  • He’ll put you in a sleeper hold!
  • He’ll cut you deeper than Dr Beeching!
  • Beware the bogie-man.
  • Mind the gap… between your head and your body!
  • Miss your stop and he’ll stop you… DEAD!
  • *discordant musicbox rendition of Coming Round The Mountain plays*
  • Some trains terminate at Ashford International… This train will terminate YOU!
  • Yep, that’s it. That’s all I have.
  • Meanwhile, in Wales: Psh-ti-cuff, psh-ti-cuff, psh-ti-cuff
  • Kentucky Route Zero is out, all the way out, and it’s STILL about America. Sorry?
  • Duelyst has fallen upon its sword. Ow!
  • Allergens of Room Temperature is more memorable than this game‘s actual name.
  • Atari are making hotels now: a generous bequest to the instagram accounts of urban explorers ten years from now.
  • I am too weak for 60% of the Creature in the Well
  • Dynasty Warriors 8: don’t do gravity.
  • Back to where so many things began: Warcraft 3: Reforged
  • Mordhau: be dismembered by the worst people on the internet.
  • Behold the somersaulting mega-dogs of Warhammer Underworlds: Online.

    Ivorrrrrr!

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    Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

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