[Explicit language]

Two movies titled The Perfect Weapon enter, only one will leave (with that title) as Herman “OmegaPrime” Davis and Robert Rau watch 90s action star Jeff Speakman at the height of his career — and 90s action star Steven Seagal not at the height of his career — to find out who earns the right to be called The Perfect Weapon.

Steven Seagal’s career, as bizarre as it is, has led him to this 2016 sci-fi world where he is the unquestioned ruler. This means his face is on the sides of buildings, and — luckily for him — involves as little movement as possible. He obviously isn’t the perfect weapon in this film, but the real star, Johnny Messner, plays Condor, a no-nonsense hitman who is tied into way too many conspiracies. Currently sitting at a 3.3 on IMDB, the movie is not just bad, but Condor’s sloppy work also makes us reconsider the title.

And in this corner, Jeff Speakman is too perfect. His anger and bad judgement get him in trouble, but at least he is efficient when it comes to eliminating his enemies. But when a shop owner dies at the hands of the mob, Speakman angrily lashes out at anyone he sees. There’s plenty to like about this movie, especially the overuse of ‘The Power’ by Snap, but is Speakman’s actions worthy of being called The Perfect Weapon? Listen if you dare.

 

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Do you have an idea or even want to join the “There Can Be Only One” gang at their next viewing party? Email Robert Rau with your movie suggestion, the days you’re free to watch, and how much beer you can bring.

Follow The Family Dinner on Twitter @thefamilydinner, and subscribe to the group’s Facebook page.

 

Show credits:

* Director/Producer: Robert Rau

* Executive Producer: Jeremy White