When we self-punish we for a small time feel better. So the next time we feel guilt and shame if we have not learned how to manage those emotions, or whatever emotion caused us to go into self-punishment we will go to what has made us feel better, even if just temporary, and that is more self-punishment. Discipline means education, instruction, cultivation and improvement, correction, subject to laws and rules. Punishment is pain or suffering inflicted on a person for a crime or offense. We need discipline to study, lose weight, to not eat too many donuts, to learn another language or new skill...

When I did something at work that I felt wasn't as good as someone else or wrong I felt bad. I felt bad, in some cases I felt shameful for not knowing or doing better, and others I felt guilt due to the impacts on others or a project. Of course my co-workers will helpful and supportive, but I felt I needed to receive some kind of chastising, penalty, or mental beating to help ease the guilt and shame I felt. I could not move past the error until I had received enough punishment. Well really, what is enough...

I self-punished mostly due to guilt and shame, and how I self-punished could be different from someone else; however, the reasons are usually similar. Dealing with the reasons behind why we self-punish is important, and for me building and understanding my relationship with God really helped me. Learning who I was/am in Christ was a game changer for me.  If you would like more information about who you are in Christ you can find more at this link.

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