Today, I paint my face with purple, matte lipstick that I have just now found out will STAIN any skin it comes into contact with!  So, I currently am sporting the incredibly ill-drawn designs in a lighter shade of purple than they were applied.  I look like I have a skin disease.  Also, special guest ASKREN joins us today for some encouraging talk about how to do everything you want to do and still occasionally sleep!

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Factoid of the Week:

A gale is officially defined as a wind of between 32 and 63 miles per hour. A wind blowing from 4 to 31mph is a breeze.

Tech Giant Tencent Slammed over Simulated Oral Sex Leak

Michigan man ticketed for leaving car running in driveway

Special Guest: ASKREN!

Woman fined £80 for pouring her coffee down a drain

Great-grandma accidentally spends YEARS praying to Lord of the Rings figurine after mistaking it for a saint

Words of Wisdom:

The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.  – Laurence J. Peter