All that you want to change is an inside job. The way some is responding to you isn’t just coming from them, in a big picture sense, it’s coming from both you and than by way of the way you tend to respond to them. So change the way you respond to them and you’ll see that change in one way or another, in them. Just like in a hose, the water isn’t coming from just the spray gun, it’s also coming from where you rotated the knob to turn on the water. That’s where it came from.