Show Notes Episode 389: Don’t Throw ME In that Cabbage Patch

This week, Host Dave Bledsoe staggers into the Cabbage Patch looking for a little action only to get kicked out of the community garden for not wearing pants. (Again) On the show this week, we head down to the toy store to beat the shit out of a mother of four who grabbed the last Cabbage Patch Doll before us. (She had it coming!)

Along the way we learn that Dave’s parents loved him enough to buy him guns, but not enough to buy him bullets. (Smart thinking there) From there we dive right into the story of a 21 year old art student who blatantly rips off a middle aged doll maker to create the biggest shit show toy craze of the 1980s! (Capitalism at work folks!) Then we discover how Cabbage Patch Dolls are actually conceived, and find it…disturbing. (THIS IS A KID’S TOY?!?!) We follow along as a 70’s toy company makes it rich on fat, ugly babies only to lose it all on a laughably bad home computer system! (Those were the times.)

Our returning Sponsor this week is Gavvie the Lovable Producer Plush doll, with a life-like smell! We open the show with parental riots and close with a song as treacly as the dolls that inspired it. 

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

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Closing Music: https://youtu.be/PoOHeZpUSYc

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Citations Needed:

Who Invented The Cabbage Patch Kids?

https://thevibrantcrafter.com/who-invented-cabbage-patch-kids/

The Strange Cabbage Patch Craze

https://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,921419,00.html

The strange story of the Cabbage Patch Kid Riots of 1983

https://abc13.com/cabbage-patch-dolls-crazy-riot-the-vault/5713681/

The weird, rabid history of the Cabbage Patch craze

https://timeline.com/cabbage-patch-craze-867ce8d076c

Uncited Additional Reading:

https://groovyhistory.com/cabbage-patch-kids/2

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabbage_Patch_Kids

https://surface.syr.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1257&context=sumagazine

https://web.archive.org/web/20080218053854/http://www.cabbagepatchkids.com/pages/History_folklore/Milestones/milestones.html

https://www.yahoo.com/news/the-cabbage-patch-kids-twisted-history-117266351832.html

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/a32201/cabbage-patch-dolls-history/

https://www.purewow.com/entertainment/what-happened-to-cabbage-patch-kids

https://abc13.com/cabbage-patch-dolls-crazy-riot-the-vault/5713681/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coleco

https://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,967387,00.html

https://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,955377-1,00.html

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