The biggest thing that holds us back from our dreams and goals isn't money, or time - its fear. Stop playing it safe, lets build that life you've been dreaming of. 

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all – Helen Keller

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far it is possible to go.” — T.S. Eliot

“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” — Pablo Picasso

 “I can accept failure. Everybody fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying. Fear is an illusion.” — Michael Jordan

Today I want to talk about risks, rewards and fear – and I’m hoping that by the end of this your biggest fear will be not trying.

 

7 years ago I had a wee little photography business, I was a single Mom to a wee little baby, and had a wee little $1.68 left in my bank account. I also needed a root canal, and had given myself an ulcer trying to manage the pain because I legitimately couldn’t afford to have it fixed. I had no idea when the next booking was going to come in, or if it would be enough to pay my rent for the month.

Prior to having a baby I had been working a ton and was managing. The year that I was pregnant was my biggest year for income up to that point. I think I hit the $50k mark for the first time that year. It was a struggle being pregnant and working as much as I did, but I knew I was on my own, there was no one else to support us, and fear can be a great motivator so  I got determined and was hustling all hours of the day and night.

Having a baby made it impossible to continue though – and there was no other way I could seem to find get money coming in. Even though we Canadian’s have an amazing 12 – 18 months of paid maternity leave, that doesn’t actually apply to the self-employed, so there was no maternity leave and I was back to work within a few months. I was breastfeeding, he wouldn’t take a bottle and I couldn’t leave him for too long. Even if I could have afforded full time daycare, it wasn’t an option because no one could get the child to eat. So, I would have a baby sitter come hang out with him upstairs, while I worked with clients and then I would sprint up the stairs as soon as I was done to go feed my little man. Side note – my studio and my apartment were the same place. It’s a one bedroom and the baby and I lived in the bedroom, while the living area and kitchen were converted into a studio. I STILL use that space today, except the bedroom now houses my props – so I don’t want to hear excuses about not having a fancy studio, store front, etc. holding you back!

He didn’t nap, he didn’t hang out in bouncer chairs or swings batting at toys like other babies, he was a very unhappy little guy that had to be rocked and walked constantly. Working while he was awake wasn’t really an option. Working while he was sleeping was also tough because for the first 14 months he never slept more than 45 minutes at a time – which not only mean that I would be stopping every 45 minutes, but also, I’m sure you can imagine just how bone tired I was.

I was SO tired, so tired, that one time when he was an infant we were sitting in a doctor’s office and this sweet elderly lady beside me asked what his name was. I just looked at her blinking and said “I did name him… I swear… I just… I don’t remember what” and then we laughed about the exhaustion of Motherhood, and decided we would both find out when the doctor called us for our appointment. Except that when they called his name they used his first and last name, but my son doesn’t actually go by his first name, so I still just sat there staring blankly thinking, huh, what a coincidence that was my Dad’s name, until the receptionist came over and said “isn’t that you?” So yeah, I was THAT tired. Like whoa… Not the best for productivity.

I will say I am blessed in that I have a family who would help me. The basement apartment that I was living in belonged to my Mother and