Snip-snip: Thanks to a medical procedure, Jack is one step closer to not being able to procreate! / Candle-flame in the Wind: On the East coast, tornadoes are hitting small towns. Meanwhile, on the West coast, fire tornadoes are engulfing cities. / Dumb News: A literally shitty story, almond milk mismanagement, and chemical-laced coffee round out this segment of "Dumb News!" - www.talkradiomeltdown.com