In this episode, we unpack what it actually means when kids shut down. Withdrawal, avoidance, and selective engagement are often read as defiance or disinterest, but they are frequently part of identity formation and nervous system regulation in the middle grades. We talk about why shutdown is so commonly misunderstood, how bids for connection get stranger as kids grow, and what staying present really looks like when connection comes sideways. From playful insults to competitive hugs, this episode explores how kids signal care without saying it outright, and how adults can respond in ways that keep relationship intact while kids figure out who they are becoming.

This episode draws on developmental psychology, neuroscience, and the author's experience as a parent and educator.