August 12, 2025

Episode 403 – Taking the Pressure Off

1 hour 2 minutes

We love the board game community, but it can lead to pressure to play MORE or HARDER games, to keep up with the newest games. What can we do to dial it back down and make games FUN again?

0:00:00 Fact for 403

403 is the code on the internet for NO. If you want to go to a website, but you don’t have access, 403. Technically the word is “FORBIDDEN”, but really it means no.

Here’s actual standards document. But it’s really, really boring. https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/rfc7235

Sponsor Message

First Move would like to make us all more aware of some of the newer scams out there. Be very careful clicking links, even ones that look legitimate!

If you’d like to talk to someone about how you can protect your financial assets, remember you can book a free meeting with First Move at firstmovefinancial.com/familygamers.

0:04:45 What We’ve Been Playing

more Paint the Roses, with 4 players this time. Much harder!
Charcuterie (our review)
HUTAN (our review)
Stew
Horrified: World of Monsters / Greek Monsters mashup (review coming soon)
Goblin Vaults (off the shelf of opportunity!)
Sagrada
The Magnificent

While camping:
Flip 7 (our review)
Cabanga! (our review)
Trio (our review)
Sushi Go Party!
Order Overload: Cafe
Sabobatage
Altiplano – a big miss for us.

0:24:30 July Monthly Report

Anitra: 49 plays of 27 unique games. H-index 3, with a lot of plays of Trio & HUTAN, but also at least 3 times with: Paint the Roses, Fight for Olympus, Canvas Critters, Jekyll & Hyde vs Scotland Yard, Quarto.

Andrew: 29 plays of 17 unique games. H-index 3. Lots of The Crew: Mission Deep Sea, Paint the Roses, Trio, plus Jekyll & Hyde v. Scotland Yard, HUTAN.

0:26:35 The Family Gamers Community

Welcome to our newest community members!

#Backtalk

We asked about board game mechanics you dislike, and what you do about them. You answered on the #backtalk channel on our Discord, and in this Backtalk post in the Facebook community.

0:36:00 Too Much Pressure?

This hobby of board gaming lends itself to always chasing the hot new thing or trying to do MORE. Probably true of a lot of hobbies, since it’s so easy to find a community online where people brag on the cool things they’re doing.

Do you feel pressure to go to every convention, or keep up with the latest hot new thing? Pressure to get your kids to play “real” games with you? Pressure to finish a game you don’t like, or pull games off your “shelf of shame”?

First: when you feel that pressure, realize that YOU are the one putting pressure on yourself; no one else can do that to you without your consent.

0:38:40 The Shelf of Shame

We prefer to call this the “shelf of opportunity”, but it still means games that are sitting unplayed. What are some strategies to deal with this without feeling guilty?

Set limits on bringing in new games – YOU set this limit, not someone else.

Set a deadline on PLAYING a specific game that’s been sitting on your shelf. If you can’t manage to play it, purge it without feeling guilty. (More on purging)

Recognize that you can move on from a game – that doesn’t mean it’s a “bad” game. Instead, it means someone else will get to try it and enjoy it!

Getting rid of a game doesn’t get rid of the good memories you have associated with it.

“Why do I want to keep this game so much?” If a game needs JUST the right set of circumstances to play it – be honest with yourself. Will that exact set of circumstances actually happen? And even if they do, is there another game that will be easier to get to the table?

0:48:00 Getting Your Kids to Play Games

If you’re listening to this podcast, you want your kids to play games with you. You may also be feeling pressure from your friends (or other parent gamers) if your kids don’t want to play games!

The point of games with our kids is to have fun – with your kids. If they’re not having fun, it’s not serving that purpose.

Forcing someone to do something they don’t want to do is likely to breed resentment instead of fun.

But it is okay to apply a little bit of pressure, without it being overwhelming. Examples:

“Please play one round, then you can walk away if you don’t like it.”

Gentle bribery with a special snack (“I’m trying to meet you halfway, and we’re doing this as a family”)

Recognize that kids often don’t have the words to explain WHY they don’t like a game or an experience. Have a conversation with them to try to understand!

Meet kids where they are: letting them walk away, or playing pretend instead of following the rules.

0:53:30 To Finish? Or Not to Finish?

Even when we aren’t enjoying a game we often feel like “we started it, we have to finish it!”

But we don’t need to finish. Yes, we want to teach our kids not to be quitters, but we also don’t want to frustrate them unnecessarily.

How do you know if everyone is frustrated, or if you should push through to the end? ASK QUESTIONS!

There is no merit badge for finishing a game that nobody liked.

– Andrew Smith

We tell our kids “it’s just a game” when we talk about being good winners and good losers. So we need to demonstrate that in our own playing, too! It’s just a game. Being willing to set the game aside shows your kids that they’re more important than the cardboard.

0:56:12 More on Forcing Kids to Play

Sometimes, it’s not that your kids don’t want to play games, it’s that they don’t want to play with you. This is especially common around ages 11-15, in our experience. This is a normal part of growing up and finding their independence!

Hopefully, you can still get kids to do some things with you, but they’ll be more interested in their friends. If you had a good relationship when they were younger, be patient! Keep offering games and fun activities, don’t be offended when they say “no”, and they’ll (probably) come back in a while.

If you can, try to set up space to make it easier for your kid to host their friends. (Be “the fun house”.) This makes it easier to stay involved and know what they’re doing, as well as making it easier to take a break with Mom or Dad when the friends go home again.

Big takeaway: games are supposed to be FUN. If they’re not fun anymore, examine why not, and try to take a break from that.

0:59:00 New Backtalk Question

Our kids say “low key” all the time. But let’s use it the way we used to. What’s your favorite low key game? When you just want to relax, what do you play?

Tell us on the #backtalk channel on our Discord, or in this Backtalk post in the Facebook community.

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