Jack begins the show by sharing a reddit thread from a woman who had a very unpleasant sexual encounter. / A Connecticut driver was arrested after she got smashed on vanilla extract. / Two idiots from Massachusetts are overcome with road rage on the Pike. Resident claims adjuster Kate shares her insight on the story. / The government is finally open, if only for a few weeks. Sadly, that doesn't stop Wilbur Ross from failing to comprehend why federal workers are struggling financially. / Weezer is back with an album full of covers! Elsewhere, The Office's Michael Scott saves lives. - www.talkradiomeltdown.com