Today, we’re talking about what it means to “hold space for someone.” We start off by defining this phrase and how it is different from simply being there for someone or being supportive, before exploring why this can be so difficult and how hard it is not to jump in and problem-solve or offer your own experiences as a way to connect. You’ll hear about the challenges of being fully present, the importance of being non-judgmental, and how to hold space when someone’s situation is triggering for you. We also discuss how to determine if someone wants to vent or if they want advice, why you should avoid offering advice unless asked for it, and how to go about offering unsolicited advice in a tactful way, as well as why you should be very cautious when offering advice on personal relationships! Holding space for someone is not something that comes easily to a lot of people, but doing this well can be a valuable life skill. We all need someone who can hold space for us, so tune in today for this insightful discussion!

Key Points From This Episode:

• Today's topic: the phrase “holding space for someone” and what this means.
• The challenge of not problem-solving or offering your own experiences as a way to connect. 
• Why you don’t have to have been through something similar to hold space for someone.
• Megan shares an example of a friend who doesn’t know how to hold space and always ends up needing more support than they give.
• How to determine if your kids want to vent or if they want advice.
• The first step to holding space for someone: be fully present.
• The importance of being nonjudgmental.
• How to hold space when someone’s situation is triggering for you.
• What it felt like for Megan and Kelly to have parents who were not good at holding space.
• Kelly’s pet peeve when opening up to someone: when they devalue your feelings.
• Thoughts on how you have the right to feel your feelings.
• How difficult it can be to hold space for people.
• Why you should try to avoid offering advice unless asked for it.
• How to go about offering unsolicited advice in a tactful way.
• Why you should always be very cautious when offering advice on personal relationships!
• The benefits of therapy. 
• The importance of protecting your own emotional energy and Kelly’s three-time rule.
• People who are exempt from the three-time rule and why certain people should be accepted into our lives, regardless of where they are at.
• Tips for how to empower people to solve their own problems.

Tweetables:

“We all have strengths and weaknesses. If someone is coming to you and they’re talking to you about something that is a weakness [or] a vulnerability, you have to set your judgments to the side so that you can be fully present and hold space for that person.” — Kelly Castillo [0:15:11]

“We want that person in our life that we care about to know that we are there for them on all levels.” — Megan Block [0:16:54]

“If someone comes to you asking for your input about their personal relationships, think hard about whether or not to answer that because they’re going to do what they want to do at the end of the day—regardless of what you say—but they will remember what you said!” — Kelly Castillo [0:31:10]

“Everybody needs just one. If you can be that one person [for them, then] chances are they can be that one person for you. It’s really nice when you have that person because life throws you some crazy stuff and you don’t want to feel like you have to walk through it alone.” — Megan Block [0:34:45]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Kelly Castillo

Megan Block

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