As fate would have it, this publication day happens to coincide with the 25-year anniversary of the day we got married. So we decided to devote an episode to get a little real and remember what we were really feeling while it all went down dooby-doo down down.

The episode’s cover art is an image on the front of a wedding album that Doug’s sister made for us, and it’s kind of eerily prophetic that all the wedding finery is laid out without any people in it. We’ve had a lot of time to think about why we did what we did, and airing it like this feels like the last in a series of “closure moments.”

Did we get together for a lot of embarrassingly wrong reasons? You betcha. Do we get a little snippy with each other? A little. But we also know how much we’ve tried to figure out how to cooperate for our boys, and it all started by realizing you can’t have a great relationship with your ex until they’re your ex.

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We also talk about how it must feel to resurrect a romance several years after it ended, the macabre feeling of brewing stock with your old hip, and whether it’s ever a good idea to show your ex your avocados.

Other links:

* Baby Blues, a boy’s podcast, and a hairbrush

* Kali, the goddess of destruction (and lots of other things)

* Jim Carrey’s speech about pursuing what you love

* When Harry Met Sally …: Harry bumps into Helen Hillson … and Ira

* The Graduate: What happens after Ben and Elaine run off together?

* Stranger Than Fiction: “I’ve written papers on little did he know.”

* Four Weddings and A Funeral: “I never expected the Thunderbolt.”

* Roy Kent: “Don’t you dare settle for ‘fine’.”

* Edvard Munch’s “Love and Pain,” later referred to as “Vampire”

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit whentheflamesgoup.substack.com