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Episode 44 – Emily Nagoski – Best Selling Author and Sex Educator – A Wellness Ren CrossOver
This week we are sharing a full and uncut episode Judy did 1 year ago, May of 2019, from the Wellness Renaissance Podcast Archives. This is the full recording of that podcast. It was a fantastic interview and we wanted to share it and Emily with you all.Enjoy….
Emily is a Sex Educator, an expert on women’s sexual well-being,
healthy relationships, and the prevention of sexual violence and
harassment.
If her name sounds familiar, you may know her from her best selling book, Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science that will Transform your Sex Life, or various TED talks. (links below)
(She also has a recent book with her sister Amelia called, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.)
So much
thought provoking, life changing stuff in here for women and anyone else who
has ever had sex, might have sex or born from someone having sex!
What did we
talk about??
How
cultural narratives have changed over time, what it teaches us right away when
someone assigns us as a boy or girl, how it has lied to us and how it is
helpful for us to recognize that!
What do we
do now? Emily shares her garden
metaphor to help us think about that.
Desire is
at the center of sex in many discussions
Pleasure…
that is what we should be using as a guide.
Pleasure is the Measure!
Understanding
Arousal Non-Concordance
This isn’t
something we understand in our culture well.
How that lack
of that understanding, and believing, has set the course to women not being
trusted to know what they want. “You
say no but your body says yes.” used to place blame in sexual assault cases and
in relationships.
Emily talks
about how we experience this.
You are normal… and… you not knowing you are normal… is TOTALLY normal!
How do
couples sustain a good sexual connection over decades?
Emily talks
about the few simple things they have in common and do to maintain that.
What we can
do to re-connect.
She shared
a difficult time in her own life and marriage that she walked through pulled
her and her husband closer together…
Why the 6 second kiss and 20 second hug!
Emily’s Mentionshttps://hermanwallace.com/ Peggy Kleinplatz – Sex Therapisthttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peggy_J._KleinplatzGirls and Sex by Peggy Orensteinhttps://amzn.to/31OsUrdDown Girl: The Logic of Misogyny by Kate Mannehttps://amzn.to/2ZhndAg
Emily’s Books
Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex
Life
https://amzn.to/2KTZJfp
The Come as You Are Workbook: A Practical Guide to the Science of Sex
https://amzn.to/2Z4ICRZ
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
https://amzn.to/31RxtB3
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle https://amzn.to/31RxtB3
Check out Emily’s Ted Talks… here is one
Learn More About Emilyhttp://www.emilynagoski.com/
Advertising Sponsor: Sarah Bamford SeidelmannFind your core Beastie at:FOLLOW YOUR FEEL GOOD TO AN ABSURDLY FANTASTIC LIFE
Advertising Sponsor: Sarah Bamford SeidelmannFind your core Beastie at:FOLLOW YOUR FEEL GOOD TO AN ABSURDLY FANTASTIC LIFE
Thank YOU for listening! We truly appreciate you!
SexMattersPodcast.comhttps://sexmatterspodcast.com/
Send in your questions, topics you’d love to hear us talk about, we love to hear from you.Leave a reviewSign up for the email list and get a PDF of daily positive sex affirmationsConsider supporting our work on Patreon. Your support makes a difference.https://www.patreon.com/SexMatters
PATRICIA – Relationship Doula
You can learn more about and find Patricia’s main website at: https://www.patriciaengelking.comFind her on Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/patricia.eng3lkingHer book – Crossing the river called sufferingYou can click right to amazon through the website
JUDY – Weekly well-being Podcast and wellness advocate
Conne
View all episodes
By Sex Matters.
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This week we are sharing a full and uncut episode Judy did 1 year ago, May of 2019, from the Wellness Renaissance Podcast Archives. This is the full recording of that podcast. It was a fantastic interview and we wanted to share it and Emily with you all.Enjoy….
Emily is a Sex Educator, an expert on women’s sexual well-being,
healthy relationships, and the prevention of sexual violence and
harassment.
If her name sounds familiar, you may know her from her best selling book, Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science that will Transform your Sex Life, or various TED talks. (links below)
(She also has a recent book with her sister Amelia called, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.)
So much
thought provoking, life changing stuff in here for women and anyone else who
has ever had sex, might have sex or born from someone having sex!
What did we
talk about??
How
cultural narratives have changed over time, what it teaches us right away when
someone assigns us as a boy or girl, how it has lied to us and how it is
helpful for us to recognize that!
What do we
do now? Emily shares her garden
metaphor to help us think about that.
Desire is
at the center of sex in many discussions
Pleasure…
that is what we should be using as a guide.
Pleasure is the Measure!
Understanding
Arousal Non-Concordance
This isn’t
something we understand in our culture well.
How that lack
of that understanding, and believing, has set the course to women not being
trusted to know what they want. “You
say no but your body says yes.” used to place blame in sexual assault cases and
in relationships.
Emily talks
about how we experience this.
You are normal… and… you not knowing you are normal… is TOTALLY normal!
How do
couples sustain a good sexual connection over decades?
Emily talks
about the few simple things they have in common and do to maintain that.
What we can
do to re-connect.
She shared
a difficult time in her own life and marriage that she walked through pulled
her and her husband closer together…
Why the 6 second kiss and 20 second hug!
Emily’s Mentionshttps://hermanwallace.com/ Peggy Kleinplatz – Sex Therapisthttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peggy_J._KleinplatzGirls and Sex by Peggy Orensteinhttps://amzn.to/31OsUrdDown Girl: The Logic of Misogyny by Kate Mannehttps://amzn.to/2ZhndAg
Emily’s Books
Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex
Life
https://amzn.to/2KTZJfp
The Come as You Are Workbook: A Practical Guide to the Science of Sex
https://amzn.to/2Z4ICRZ
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
https://amzn.to/31RxtB3
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle https://amzn.to/31RxtB3
Check out Emily’s Ted Talks… here is one
Learn More About Emilyhttp://www.emilynagoski.com/
Advertising Sponsor: Sarah Bamford SeidelmannFind your core Beastie at:FOLLOW YOUR FEEL GOOD TO AN ABSURDLY FANTASTIC LIFE
Advertising Sponsor: Sarah Bamford SeidelmannFind your core Beastie at:FOLLOW YOUR FEEL GOOD TO AN ABSURDLY FANTASTIC LIFE
Thank YOU for listening! We truly appreciate you!
SexMattersPodcast.comhttps://sexmatterspodcast.com/
Send in your questions, topics you’d love to hear us talk about, we love to hear from you.Leave a reviewSign up for the email list and get a PDF of daily positive sex affirmationsConsider supporting our work on Patreon. Your support makes a difference.https://www.patreon.com/SexMatters
PATRICIA – Relationship Doula
You can learn more about and find Patricia’s main website at: https://www.patriciaengelking.comFind her on Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/patricia.eng3lkingHer book – Crossing the river called sufferingYou can click right to amazon through the website
JUDY – Weekly well-being Podcast and wellness advocate
Conne