On Labor Day 2016, Rome Maynard's house was hit with a vicious BizarroPorch attack. If you or anyone you know have any information leading to the apprehension of the perpetrators, email [email protected].

Additional topics in this episode:

• Creepy clowns and how to avoid them
• Apples, and why Rome hates them
• Old guy glass
• Mark Hamill's unforgettable role as Farm Boy
• Canoeing adventures
• The Cannon literary cannon
• Bailey's Beansicles
• Celebrity deaths you may not have heard of