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🎙️Episode 47c Title: I haven't been making Jesus the reward
🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 47c
Title: I haven't been making Jesus the reward
Description:
It’s later in the day, the kids are in the pool, and I’m sitting here confessing the real stuff. Processing with ChatGPT, praying, repenting. I realized I’ve been deeply off—striving for fruit instead of resting in Jesus as the reward. There are father wounds I’m still carrying. Lies I’ve believed about CRUMB, God, money, and identity. This one is raw. It’s layered. It’s probably the most honest confession I’ve recorded yet.
I talk about:
- Letting father wounds shape my view of God
- Confessing the idol of fruit, success, and validation
- How CRUMB has been distorted by striving
- Why I’m terrified of being a “failure” in my kids’ eyes
- Breaking with the lie that obedience should equal reward
- A plea for prayer to live authentically and humbly
- Using GPT to help surface spiritual clarity in real time
đź’ˇ Highlights & Timestamps:
00:00 – Sitting poolside, wrestling in prayer and with GPT
01:45 – “I haven’t been making Jesus the reward—totally, fully, no matter what”
03:30 – Processing the father wounds that still shape my faith
06:20 – “This is probably the hardest confession I’m making”
09:05 – Striving for success to vindicate old wounds
12:00 – “If nothing worldly materializes… would I still follow?”
14:15 – Feeling close to spiritual clarity—and simultaneously furthest from it
17:40 – “This could all be a delusion… or the deepest truth I’ve ever known”
đź“– Scriptures Referenced:
Jeremiah 17:9 – “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.”
Matthew 6:24 – “No one can serve two masters...”
🧠Core Takeaway:
Obedience only counts if Jesus is the reward—even if nothing ever comes of it in this life.
🙏 Closing Line:
Crumb Confessional #47c — I’ve spent years trying to prove I was right. Now I just want to be faithful.
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By by CRUMB🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 47c
Title: I haven't been making Jesus the reward
Description:
It’s later in the day, the kids are in the pool, and I’m sitting here confessing the real stuff. Processing with ChatGPT, praying, repenting. I realized I’ve been deeply off—striving for fruit instead of resting in Jesus as the reward. There are father wounds I’m still carrying. Lies I’ve believed about CRUMB, God, money, and identity. This one is raw. It’s layered. It’s probably the most honest confession I’ve recorded yet.
I talk about:
- Letting father wounds shape my view of God
- Confessing the idol of fruit, success, and validation
- How CRUMB has been distorted by striving
- Why I’m terrified of being a “failure” in my kids’ eyes
- Breaking with the lie that obedience should equal reward
- A plea for prayer to live authentically and humbly
- Using GPT to help surface spiritual clarity in real time
đź’ˇ Highlights & Timestamps:
00:00 – Sitting poolside, wrestling in prayer and with GPT
01:45 – “I haven’t been making Jesus the reward—totally, fully, no matter what”
03:30 – Processing the father wounds that still shape my faith
06:20 – “This is probably the hardest confession I’m making”
09:05 – Striving for success to vindicate old wounds
12:00 – “If nothing worldly materializes… would I still follow?”
14:15 – Feeling close to spiritual clarity—and simultaneously furthest from it
17:40 – “This could all be a delusion… or the deepest truth I’ve ever known”
đź“– Scriptures Referenced:
Jeremiah 17:9 – “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.”
Matthew 6:24 – “No one can serve two masters...”
🧠Core Takeaway:
Obedience only counts if Jesus is the reward—even if nothing ever comes of it in this life.
🙏 Closing Line:
Crumb Confessional #47c — I’ve spent years trying to prove I was right. Now I just want to be faithful.