9 Common Traits of People Pleasers I didn’t realize I was a people pleaser. In fact, I would have argued that I was very confident, bold even. I don’t fawn over people or seem overly compassionate, outwardly. Most people assume I am confident and autonomous. I probably learned this behavior to compensate for my low self-esteem.  People pleasing detracts from our happiness because we spend so much time worrying about everyone else. I wish I had been aware of my people pleasing tendencies much sooner; I would have saved myself so much suffering.