We watch and outline a movie that we both remember being a lot better than it actually is: The Relic (1997). Join us as we take a journey through a poorly-lit museum, lament the fact that we can't see the cool monster when it looks the best, and marvel at how horrendously insane the fire suppression system is in this death trap of a museum. Then, stick around as we crunch up a creature that'll eat your hypothalamus: the Kachunka!

Spoilers ahead.

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Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister

Interlude music: "Museum of idiots" by They Might be Giants

Background music: The Relic Soundtrack