Welcome brave warriors, it's time to draw your broadswords and strap on your Birkenstocks as episode 49 of FFTC strides majestically on to the savage wasteland known as the internet! In this edition we delve into the corpulent genre of the Sword and Sandal epic. With dozens, nay, hundreds of films of this ilk available to us, we settled on 1983's Conquest by the ever nap-inducing Lucio Fulci. Lucio made some astounding films in his prolific career and this is most definitely not one of them. A ponderous romp through the smoke strewn corners of his back yard, this film includes dismal dialogue, a meandering storyline and, through some sort of witchery, he even managed to make copious nudity bland and uninteresting. Our second feature however, 1982's Sorceress directed by the mighty Jack Hill and produced by low budget wizard Roger "Gandalf" Corman is an ambitious low budget effort. This film too features ample T&A and side-splitting fight choreography but it does actually have a story to tell and is as plucky as it's two twin blonde leads! Lots of nice and cheesy old school FX from John Carl Buechler top off a fine party night camp fest. Huzzah!

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