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Episode 51 - "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation"
Welcome back to Analyze Scripts, where a psychiatrist and a therapist analyze what Hollywood gets right and wrong about mental health. Today, we wrap up 2023 with a special Christmas-themed episode analzying the Griswold family in "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation." We have a lot of fun revisiting this holiday classic and trying to figure out what exactly is going on with Clark Griswold!! And building on our holiday theme this month, we end the episode with our top tips for maintaining your boundaries and sanity during this cheerful (and stressful!) time of year. We hope you enjoy!
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Unknown Speaker: Hi, I'm Dr. Katrina Fieri, a psychiatrist. And I'm Portia Pendleton, a licensed clinical social worker. And this is analyze Scripts, a podcast where two shrinks analyze the depiction of mental health in movies and TV shows. Our hope is that you learn some legit info about mental health while feeling like you're chatting with your girlfriends. There is so much misinformation out there, and it drives us nuts. And if someday we pay off our student loans or land a sponsorship, like with a lay flat airline or a major beauty brand, even better. So sit back, relax, grab some popcorn and your DSM five, and enjoy. Ho, ho, ho. Welcome back to this very special Christmas episode of Analyze scripts, where we're going to be covering the 1989 classic National Lampoon Christmas vacation. Portia, you have seen this movie? I have, many times. It's my favorite Silly Christmas movie. Okay, good. Yeah. Okay, good. It's a must watch. No, I have to say, watching it once again, I was like, I would be Clark Griswold with my crazy family, and you and Brian would be, like, over there. Happy, Margot. Yeah. Thank you. I love Margot, and I also just love Julie. Drive us so much. I just like how they're know, having their Margaritas. They're having their know. They don't have kids. They're just, like, hot trotting, know. And then there I am trying to hang Christmas lights. Well, I would say as a couple, sure. But then the family chaos, right? True. We do deck our halls here. So we are the brightest house in the neighborhood. I'm excited to see that this year. It's very fun. We do love the holidays. Invite everyone over. So I feel like Margot's a little, know, colder. I love when her and Tod are talking about, like, should we have gotten a, like, it's a little late, but go for not. I don't know. It's just like, the two houses are so paralleled opposite. Yeah. And the fact that they're, like, neighbors, like, they just must hate each know. Seems like there's a lot of. Oh, so we wanted to cover this episode because with the holidays, like, spoiler alert. Holidays are stressful. Did you guys know? But I looked up some quick stats because we're professional podcasters now. And NaMi, the National alliance of Mental Illness, estimates that 24% of people with a diagnosed mental illness find the holidays make their condition a lot worse and 40% somewhat worse. Let's talk about why that is. Yeah. Why do you think? I think that families often highlight things that are wrong, typically because there's so many people. Right? I'm going to use, I guess, depression. Maybe for an example, if you were going home for the holidays and you had pretty significant depression, but you were just going home to your parents and they were relatively supportive, it would be fine because it's just them cooked me. You're going home. You can chill on the couch. You don't have to really do anything. But it's like, no. If you're going to Aunt Sue's house and there's going to be 20 people there, it's overwhelming. Everyone is heightened. There's always tension. There's always some family member that someone's not getting along with, which impacts everyone. There's always stress, oh, we need to clean everything. I love that video. I don't know what social media site it's been on for years. It's like this guy dressed up as a mom and he's like cleaning everything and saying, we have to make it look like we don't live here. Like, oh, it's dirty, throw it away. It's like these people get so intense about patience are so high, so high. And we see that with Clark Grisml just like really wanting this unbelievably high, perfect version of the holidays, which is just impossible. Right. But I mean, just the expectations for the cooking, the cleaning, the finances, the gifts, like the travel behavior. Yeah. Children behaving like all of that. And then let's throw in some alcohol. Right. Which flows freely at most holiday events. And so then everyone's a little bit more loose lipped and we miss things, I think, when we're intoxicated. Right. So we make assumptions. It's kind of a recipe for diSaster. And I think, right, or the perfect SNL skip. Well, that's true. Or the perfect show, like the Bear. Right. So the Bear did an excellent portrayal of chaos on a holiday. If you haven't seen that show, please do watch it and then listen to our episodes about it. So I think, isn't it Thanksgiving or the 4 July or one of them that has the most, like, er visits? Maybe it's Thanksgiving because of the frying, the turkeys. People get stabbed. Like, there's family together. There's so much drinking, there's football. It's like Thanksgiving, I've heard, has like a higher ER rate. I know 4 July does for firework injuries, fire blowing, stuff like that. But yeah. And then, so you just add to it. That's just like baseline stressors, I guess. And then if you add into it, like, someone's struggling with a substance use disorder or anxiety, depression, eating disorder. Eating disorder. Like any of this stuff, grief around the holidays is really hard, especially if you've experienced significant loss around a holiday or let's say you don't have a lot of family. It's a reminder. Isolated. Yeah. It's a reminder of what you've lost. So holidays are really stressful, and it can be really hard to set healthy limits and have healthy boundaries with yourself, both in terms of concrete things, like how much money you're spending on gifts or stuff like that, and then also just, like, emotional boundaries with interacting with people in the family who might be hard to interact with. No, totally. The scene that the movie kind of, like, opens up with is them getting their Christmas tree. Right. So Clark, Ellen, and then the two kids, Audrey and Russ. So John Paulecki, who is in, you know, is little Russ. And then we have Juliet Lewis, who is now in one of our newer favorite shows, Yellow Jackets. Great cast. And then Ellen Griswold, Beverly Angelo. She was a bigger star at a reoccurring role in Entourage as herself now. And she's kind of this rough woman who's like a boss of a competing company. Nice. So obviously, Chevy Chase has been a lot of things, but we immediately see just, like, Chevy Chase's Clark Road rage and just, like, reactivity. Yeah. And, like, selfish streak. You're putting your family in danger. Yeah, exactly. And just, like, impulsivity, too, like, not thinking ahead or thinking things through. Like, they get there and no one has anything to cut the tree down with. And then they get it home and it doesn't really fit. Then we just cut it in half and we get the chainsaw out. It's just really interesting. He's an interesting character, to say the least. Yeah. Ellen seems to be always kind of trying to level head in, make him more aware of what's happening and his choices. And one of my favorite scenes for just comedic reason is when they're in bed that night and they have the sap stuck to their fingers and everything is sticking and just pulling like I just did. They're pulling the lamps and touching paper, and it's just so ridiculous. But if you've ever touched sap, it is impossible to get off. You can get it off with sugar. Oh, good to know. Yeah. Hot tip. But even then he's struggling. He can't do it himself. So he grabs it and takes it on, and then she gets to stop on her. And that's, like a perfect metaphor, I feel like, for that relationship, I don't know how she puts up with him. No, it's a lot. Yeah. All the characters kept saying, like, you're such a good dad. Just calm down. He needed a lot of reassurance. He did need a lot of reassurance, which I don't know what that's about. It seemed like he had some happy memories of childhood. Right. So he has two, you know, still married. They seem. Of the two sets of grandparents, they seem nicer and, like, less. Yeah. So Ellen's parents are very judgy. Francis and. What is his name? Frank. So Francis is played by Doris Roberts. So we've seen her in many, many things over the years. Like, something. Raymond. Everybody loves Raymond. Yep. The mom in that. So she's just like, immediately like, oh, you cut your hair. Oh, you smoking again? And we see Ellen responding to strEss, so she starts smoking. She also, before they even got here, was, like, in bed. In that scene in bed at the beginning, like, I heard everyone's coming. We could tell them all not to. And I was like, listen to that instant. Yeah. Would it be rude to ask them to stay in a hotel? You could just tell they were, like, bracing for it. I loved when all the grandparents got there, how they're just filling everyone in on their physical ailments. I got a bunion. Can you rub my feet? And Russ is like, ew, he wants to die. And then Audrey being like, I don't want to share bed with my brother. It's just, like, so funny. But, like, classic having everyone under the same roof. Oh, my gosh, the grandparents. I just love grandparents. And I personally can't wait to be older, I think. I don't know if I've told you, but I have three careers lined up in my mind. Tell our audience an elder one is to be an actress and be like the elderly grandma in all the movies. Like Doris, right? That's her name, yes. Another is to go hold babies at the hospital. Just be the person, like, in the NICU holding the babies. And the third, my favorite idea is I want to go sit at wedding dress shops and just tell all the brides, like, how beautiful they look every time they come out, just like, really sweet. That's either going to be creepy or sweet, right? Yeah. We'll depend on the bride. Yeah. And their personal history. Right. And I think if I can just be, like, the token loving grandmother with, like, muffins. You look beautiful. Cottage core, your little sweaters. Yeah, exactly. That'll be very nice. But watching this movie, I was like, ooh, I don't know. Yeah. All the grandma a little rough, and they seem to not like each other. It seems like the two grandparents don't get along. Yeah. And that creates a lot of stress for everyone, which I would imagine that being stressful. And also, I think it's lovely to invite people to stay at your house if you have the space, but if people have the means and if you don't, sometimes we got to make things work, and that's lovely, too. But if people have the means, we don't need to sleep on the floor. I don't know. I mean, I know that it's fun to wake up on holidays in the morning with people, but just come over. But is it fun? Yeah. Well, I think you really have to ask yourself that question. I think in this household, it's a no. Yeah. What about, like, Cousin Eddie showing up in the RV? So that was a twist. You could see, like, almost trauma. He's like. He can't believe it. He's just, like, speechless. He's kind of turning his head back and forth, back and forth. So they're all admiring the lights, which seems like it was a very stressful situation for Russ, who's one of his favorite lines of mind that I say frequently when, like, don't want to do something. So he's like, yeah, Dad, I got to do my homework. I got to feed the hog. He recites all these things that they don't have, and I just say that with my partner. We say it all the time. We don't want to do something. So he kind of backs out. And you see Clark lose his mind when the lights are not turning on. Right. He's kicking the Santa. He's having this big reaction, a little childlike. Right. It's kind of a temper tantrum, which makes me think that he doesn't have a lot of distress tolerance or, like, coping. Emotion regulation. Regulation. Strong point. Yeah. Also, it was a lot of lights. A lot of lights. Almost felt a little hypomanic at times. Right. Or, like, impulsive. Like, one thing you had mentioned, hyper focus. Yeah. Is like, does Clark have ADHD? Yeah. I mean, the data is. Think I'd love to do a Vanderbilt with him. Yeah. You added an additional symptom that I didn't see online, but I think it's true. Right. He's very impulsive. Very impulsive. Yeah. Like, with the road rage, with deciding to do this or to do that or just really going with it. The hyper focus. So he can't stop doing something, even at the risk of getting hurt. So that's when kind of some more potential traumatic brain injuries or TBIs come into our count of, I think it was nine head traumas during the entire movie. So he doesn't really give close attention or details. He makes careless mistakes. You see him stapling his little. Stapling his glove. He has so many. But then he doesn't just take his hand out of the glove. He's trying to rip the glove off. So again, decision making, trouble keeping attention or tasks. Doesn't seem to listen when spoken directly to. I can see that sometimes with his kids, he's just kind of looking away or like, how we would say, like, maybe La la Land. He doesn't name misses important details. He doesn't call his daughter Aubrey ever. He's like, oh, yeah, she's over there. Something. It's just weird. And is he being a jerk or is that inattentiveness? Trouble organizing, loses things, all the gifts. Right? He is digging around in the ceiling attic, and then he finds, like, ten gifts from years past. Distracted, forgetful. So there's a lot there where he very well could meet criteria for that. And I think he's also, at least in some ways, kind of a jerk. So, like, you can have ADHD and be a jerk. You can have ADHD and not be a jerk. So it's like a jerk and not have ADHD. Exactly. Diagram. Exactly. Yeah. No, I totally agree. It's interesting to think about does he have ADHD, and is this part of why he's trying to overcompensate? Right, because sometimes I think people will try to do that to make up for it in some way, but then the stuff they're trying to do to overcompensate, like, in this case, requires a lot of planning and organizing and execution, which is hard for anyone, but especially if you add in, like, an inattentive ADHD, he's also really hyperactive, so he's probably bumping around. Yeah, definitely. Even, like, the impulsive things he says to people and some of the altercations he would get into verbally, I think, could meet criteria for that, too. So he's this big family man, right? So there's a lot of things. That's how he kind of identifies himself. But then he's, like, flirting with that woman, Mary Lingerie place. I was, like, so turned off by that. Because then it's gross behavior. When his son comes over, he's like, suddenly like, oh, yikes. Because you don't want your son to see that, right? Because it's bad. I know. That's why he's, like, not, oh, I'm not married. Oh, she. That's Ew. Ick. Yeah. So back to Eddie. Seems like he's had some TBIs. I would say so. And he has some, you know, he refers to some sort of, like, surgery, right. Where he had a meta plate in his head. He refers to the VA. So it sounds like he's a veteran now. He's just, like, living on the road in the RV with his kids. Who. Financial problems. Yeah. He gave his money away to some minister online, it sounds like. Or on TV. Oh, no. Yeah. His kids also have had to TBI. Right. They referred Mary Lou. Oh, her eyes aren't crossed anymore. Right. Well, she got kicked in the head and they cross, and then she got kicked in the head again and they uncross. Spoiler alert, that's not how it works. But in this movie, I guess so it seems like they're kind of really down on their luck. And I'm like, do the kids go to school? Are you trying to convey. They don't go to school. They're just in the RV. And one older daughter's, like, in alcohol rehab. The other one's going to be in the carnival circus or something. So they're just a hoot. And they show up. Surprisingly, you can see everyone's thrilled to see. And it's almost like it's a little sweet because despite their quirks and very obvious comedic role in the movie, it's like, it's sad. They're definitely, like you said, not having any luck right now. But one of the sweeter moments in the movie is when Clark is downstairs with Ruby sue, right? She thinks he's Santa, and he has a sweet moment with her about Santa. And then when they're at the Christmas Eve, they're like, oh, we saw there was Santa sighting over this, and they all get really excited. Like, that's sweet. It was sweet. And that was a cute Christmas Eve with all there and waiting for Santa and stuff. So there are some sweet moments in the movie. That's probably why it's so successful is because it is funny. It is sweet. And I think it also still portrays these family dynamics that I think everyone can relate. Uncle sue just showing up or so and so having a little too much eggnog, right. Or Grandma over there singing the Star Spangled Band or Grandpa lighting the tree on Foster. He's just always lighting a cigar, like, all the time. So speaking of Margot and Todd, in a non psychological way, because this isn't really, like, a diagnosis, but they could use a little holiday spirit. They seem a little like curmudgeony, which is not. And it's only because they are, I think, maybe traumatized by having Clark as a. So. Right. Like, he's cutting down the tree because. Right. As we said, the grandpa, I think it's not Francis, but, like, burns it down. Clark freaks out. Right. Because it's ruining, like, which, again, if you had a fire in your house on the holiday, I would be reactive. But it's not about the fire. It's about, like, we don't have a tree. Yeah. So he goes into the yard. He goes out there with the mask. I know. And just chainsaws it down. It goes through the neighbor's window. Exactly. Smashes it. Meanwhile, they're getting TBIs, falling down the stairs. A lot of concussions in this movie. A lot of window smashing, too. Like, at the end, when the SWAT team shows up to rescue their boss, Todd won't go over and confront. So Margot does. She's ****** about it, like, banging on the door, opens it, and the squirrel attacks her. And then the dog jumps on her. What did you think of the squirrel? So symbolic with chaos. I think it's one of my. I know I've said this ten times already, but it's just such a good scene. It's running around the house. They're all running around with it. They're, like, freaking out. It's like. I don't know. It's a squirrel. But have you ever had a squirrel in your house? I've had, like, a bird. I had a squirrel once. Were you freaking out? Yeah, we were in an apartment at the time. It was a second floor apartment, and we had noticed we were renting it under this sink. There was, like, a hole that was getting bigger and bigger. And I was like, that's never good kitchen. Yeah. I was like, that's weird. And then one day, I just heard this scratching noise. I was like, is that a mouse? And I go and open it. A squirrel darts out. Like. Just like that. Just like the squirrel girl in this movie. Yes. Darts out. And luckily, I'd had the door opened at the balcony, and it ran out there, and I just slammed the door, like, as fast as I could. But it was terrifying. It was shocking. Yes. Just like this. So I was like, oh, my God. I know that feeling. Like, all of a sudden, I thought it was a bird at first in the tree, but then, no, it was crazy squirrel. Yeah. My in laws had a squirrel like infestation in their attic years ago. They have it all fixed now, but squirrels kept getting in. They kept covering the hole or whatever. They kept chewing through it. It was a nightmare. It was so hard to get rid of. And they kept appearing. They'd wake up and hear the scratches in the ceiling. So I guess this is common. Another family member of mine had, like, flying squirrels in his house. They would come in through the light fixtures. They're a little smaller. Yeah, it's just like, what is this? All these squirrels. You know what it also made me think of? Cruzfeld Yakov disease. Do you know what that is? I knew you weren't going to know this. I'm really excited. So random. So say it again. Kruzfeld Yakov disease. CJD. Because this is one of the most interesting things I ever learned in medical school. So there's a class of disorders called prion diseases, where prions are like misfolded proteins that lead to basically bigger cells and stuff, like can't function. So Cruzfeld, the AOC of disease, is something where it's a prion disease, and it's really sad because it's very fatal very quickly, and there's really not a lot you can do for it. So it's people who all of a sudden develop memory loss, trouble walking, muscle weakness, personality changes, they stop eating, and then they die pretty quickly. There's a variant of this that comes from eating squirrel brains. Yeah, that is why I thought of it. I believe it's called kuru kuru. And they discovered this back in an island in Papua New guinea where culturally, people would eat squirrel brains. If you remember back in the day, mad cow disease in London, that's a prion disease that people got from eating infected cows that had the prion disease. So it's very transmissible, which is scary if you eat, but you have to eat the infected meat, basically. So you can't get like Kruzfeld Yakub from sneezing or saliva or anything like that. You get it from eating the tissue. Another reason to be vegetarian. Or there's a random variant, which is what a lot of humans randomly get, and then there's like a genetic variant to where it could run in families. Anyway, so, yeah, in medical school, I learned about this prion disease that came from eating squirrel brains. And I was like, what? But then I thought, what if Uncle Eddie ate that squirrel? Like, I could see him doing that. Well, they've said that they eat squirrels. I know. That's why I started thinking about the preon disease. But no, I don't think Uncle Eddie has the prion disease because he's functioning too well, despite how he's actually functioning. But anyway, just a fun little tidbit that's interesting. Well, if I'm ever in the wild, I will not. Brain. Yeah. Don't eat squirrel. Brain. Yeah. Okay. Fun fact. I think in some cultures, it's like a delicacy. In other cultures, there's some cultures where there's some cannibalism as part of funeral rituals and things like that. And that can lead to pre owned disease. So try to avoid it. Now you know. Now you know, the more you know. So another stressor in this movie is finances, right? So we see Clark kind of planning on this bonus, which a lot of people do have anticipatory kind of regular guaranteed bonuses. And it's like a part of your salary because at first, I remember watching this as a kid and being like, well, why would you overspend, silly. But now I said, he's gotten it for, like 17 years or something. It's a part of your kind of guaranteed schedule income. And so he's planning to, again, have this perfect moment where he has this pool and he's, like, envisioning, right, this pool party with Mary there, which is weird, but whatever. And so then he finds out, right, that he doesn't get it. And he's waiting. And he's waiting. You can see him getting more and more because he already put the deposit down. Exactly. And it sounds like he doesn't have the money to do that, which is without the bone. It's a little risky. But then he finally gets the letter and announces to the whole family, before he opens it, I know what he's going to do with it. Everyone's excited. Everyone can't wait to see it. And then it's the jelly of the Month club. And he, which rightfully so, but loses it, right? He goes on that rant that is bleeped out a lot if you watch it on live TV. It's not if you watch it on the streaming service, but it's like. And it's, again, one of the iconic moments of the whole movie. Eddie, which is super sweet, sees how upset he is, wants to do something about. And he know he doesn't know what to get Clark. And Clark says, all I want is for the boss to be here wrapped up in a bow. And so Eddie's like, oh, light bulb. Oh, my God, he does it. So he goes and gets him, kidnaps this man puts a bow on him. I'm like, where'd you get the bow? Not important. Brings him back from what? Car dealership, literally. And then they find out and then they all crash through the windows. And of course, Ellen's like, frozen, holding. So funny, though. Private party, said, like, freeze. That was like, really funny. And then even the boss is frozen. They're like, not you. But then the wife learns that he went back on his word and did jelly of the Month club and she chastises him for it. She's really upset. And then they learn that everyone's getting more money this year and it's going to be great. And then they're all happy, and I'm just like, whoa, then what happens? ANd then Aunt Bethany sings the national anthem as the know because Eddie put all the nasty stuff in the sewer and Lewis lights it on fire. So they're all singing and it's just like the best moment of Christmas of all. It's perfect. That's what Christmas is really all about, Clark. Family connection, family veterans and fire. God bless America. God bless America. Oh, my God. It's wonderful. It's so funny. It's so funny. But it's so true. Like, the financial stress that can come from the holidays is insane, right? I think just with the capitalist society we live in, the materialism. And you really do lose sight of what the reason for the season, and that's different for everyone. But it's not just presenting money. I think everyone can agree it's not about that, right? I think it is about giving, but within reason. And so, yeah, I think that's a nice spot to sort of start wrapping up, is like, yeah, it is about giving. And some tips I think that we have as therapists for managing stress around the holidays. I think one little catchphrase I really like, which ties in nicely to the fiery end to the movie, is don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. And by that, it sort of reminds you, like, it's okay to have healthy limits and, like, don't overextend yourself. Especially, like, I think moms tend to do this. You see Clark doing this. Don't try to be a superhero to make everyone else happy and just don't. Or if it's too much to go to this house on Christmas Eve, then this house on Christmas Day and then grandparents on Christmas night, don't come up with a new plan. And keep in mind that you're allowed to enjoy your holiday, too. And that, again, trying to keep in mind, like, what's your reason for the season? Yeah. And I think trying to take a step back and figuring out what is your favorite part. Right. Like, what's important to you. Is it being all together on Christmas morning and staying in matching pajamas? Like, great. Is it the food great? Is it seeing certain people great? But it's like, which part brings you the most joy and how can you invest in that and let some of the other things. Exactly. Exactly. And I think one thing I always encourage people to do, especially if you run more on the perfectionistic side or you're really going above and beyond, like we see Clark doing is okay, like, what are your expectations? And then reduce it by like half and just settle into, like, well, how would I feel if only these things got great? Like, try to just take the pressure off yourself a little bit so that you're not just doing and doing and going and going, but you can actually be present in the festivities or the events and you can find some enjoyment in it. Right. One podcast I love to listen to called the Deep Dive, I don't know if you've ever heard of that one, but they always talk about something called, like, tree time, where one of them in her iPhone calendar has like a half hour every day where it's tree time and she and her kids just sit in front of the tree and just look at and connect. Isn't that beautiful? Because they used to spend all this time getting the tree, decorating the tree, putting presents under the tree. But how often do you actually just sit in front of it and take it in and sit there with your kids with no distractions and stuff like that? So I think it's important to build that stuff in. Yeah, no, I think it's really just about connecting with your values and what's going to make you feel connected. I mean, we have typically not for everyone, but like time off. So how can you spread things out? I love spreading things out. It's like, what's better than having three Christmases? So we don't need to fit everything in in that 24 hours period. Right. But I don't know. I like the idea also of you had mentioned just like volunteering and how can you give back in any way, big or small, around that time of year? What does that look like? Can you turn that into like a family tradition and then for managing the stress that comes from family dynamics? I think if you can use humor as best you can, that's always really helpful, especially if there's just that one person who, no matter what, gets under your skin or creates a scene or just stuff like that. You have to keep in mind you're responsible for your own behavior, and that's it. You can't control other people's behavior, their feelings, or how they're going to react. So there's just that one nudge. Is there a way with your partner or someone to kind of turn it into a funny little game? Or how long is it going to be till so and so does this, or till so and so does that? Is there any way to try to just accept what you anticipate will happen and try not to take it personally? This is where I also love to encourage people to put on their. What I call **** raincoats. You just imagine you got your **** raincoat on, and whatever's thrown at you just rolls right off. Crude. It is helpful, though, to have some anticipation, right? So whether you are in therapy, perfect time to talk about it with your therapist. If you have a partner, talk about with them or whoever you are attending, maybe an event with or even yourself you can do this with. But just, like, what do you expect? What do we know about your family? What can you anticipate is going to happen? And just preparing for yourself, right? So if I was going into this holiday event, and I was a guest and I was another cousin coming, I might say if I knew everyone who was there, that cousin Eddie is a little interesting, and he might say some off color things, and he's Eddie. And I'm either going to make light of it, or I'm going to walk in the other room and take some space. And if Clark is saying unkind things to someone or beating himself up, like asking myself, knowing Clark, is it appropriate to get involved? Do I offer him positive feedback? Will that make it worse? We know so much about our families, more than we often think we do, that you just have to spend maybe five minutes going through the people who are going to be there. What do you expect? And then what can you do about it, right? And how can you handle it? How can you maintain your own sense of wellness and your own boundaries? And it's okay and healthier to walk away, to take some space, go for a walk, stay in a hotel, than to find yourself engaging in these toxic dynamics or fighting or things like that. So sometimes even just having, like, an exit strategy or a game plan can be really helpful, even if you don't have to use it. Just knowing you know what you do is really helpful. Really helpful. So good luck. Good luck. I hope you enjoy the holidays. Thanks for tuning into this episode as we wrap up our first calendar year of podcasting, which is really exciting again, follow us on analyze Scripts podcast at Instagram and TikTok. If you're enjoying our content, please please rate, review, subscribe, and share. We're hoping to really grow in the new year and we will see you next Monday. Yeah, take care. Bye. This podcast and its contents are a copyright of analyzed scripts. All rights reserved. Any redistribution or reproduction of part or all of the contents in any form is prohibited unless you want to share it with your friends and rate, review, and subscribe. That's fine. All stories and characters discussed are fictional in nature. No identification with actual persons, living or deceased places, buildings, or products is intended or should be inferred. This podcast is for entertainment purposes only. The podcast and its contents do not constitute professional mental health or medical advice. Listeners might consider consulting a mental health provider if they need assistance with any mental health problems or concerns. As always, please call 911 or go directly to your nearest emergency room for any psychiatric emergencies. Thanks for listening and see you next time.
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Welcome back to Analyze Scripts, where a psychiatrist and a therapist analyze what Hollywood gets right and wrong about mental health. Today, we wrap up 2023 with a special Christmas-themed episode analzying the Griswold family in "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation." We have a lot of fun revisiting this holiday classic and trying to figure out what exactly is going on with Clark Griswold!! And building on our holiday theme this month, we end the episode with our top tips for maintaining your boundaries and sanity during this cheerful (and stressful!) time of year. We hope you enjoy!
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Unknown Speaker: Hi, I'm Dr. Katrina Fieri, a psychiatrist. And I'm Portia Pendleton, a licensed clinical social worker. And this is analyze Scripts, a podcast where two shrinks analyze the depiction of mental health in movies and TV shows. Our hope is that you learn some legit info about mental health while feeling like you're chatting with your girlfriends. There is so much misinformation out there, and it drives us nuts. And if someday we pay off our student loans or land a sponsorship, like with a lay flat airline or a major beauty brand, even better. So sit back, relax, grab some popcorn and your DSM five, and enjoy. Ho, ho, ho. Welcome back to this very special Christmas episode of Analyze scripts, where we're going to be covering the 1989 classic National Lampoon Christmas vacation. Portia, you have seen this movie? I have, many times. It's my favorite Silly Christmas movie. Okay, good. Yeah. Okay, good. It's a must watch. No, I have to say, watching it once again, I was like, I would be Clark Griswold with my crazy family, and you and Brian would be, like, over there. Happy, Margot. Yeah. Thank you. I love Margot, and I also just love Julie. Drive us so much. I just like how they're know, having their Margaritas. They're having their know. They don't have kids. They're just, like, hot trotting, know. And then there I am trying to hang Christmas lights. Well, I would say as a couple, sure. But then the family chaos, right? True. We do deck our halls here. So we are the brightest house in the neighborhood. I'm excited to see that this year. It's very fun. We do love the holidays. Invite everyone over. So I feel like Margot's a little, know, colder. I love when her and Tod are talking about, like, should we have gotten a, like, it's a little late, but go for not. I don't know. It's just like, the two houses are so paralleled opposite. Yeah. And the fact that they're, like, neighbors, like, they just must hate each know. Seems like there's a lot of. Oh, so we wanted to cover this episode because with the holidays, like, spoiler alert. Holidays are stressful. Did you guys know? But I looked up some quick stats because we're professional podcasters now. And NaMi, the National alliance of Mental Illness, estimates that 24% of people with a diagnosed mental illness find the holidays make their condition a lot worse and 40% somewhat worse. Let's talk about why that is. Yeah. Why do you think? I think that families often highlight things that are wrong, typically because there's so many people. Right? I'm going to use, I guess, depression. Maybe for an example, if you were going home for the holidays and you had pretty significant depression, but you were just going home to your parents and they were relatively supportive, it would be fine because it's just them cooked me. You're going home. You can chill on the couch. You don't have to really do anything. But it's like, no. If you're going to Aunt Sue's house and there's going to be 20 people there, it's overwhelming. Everyone is heightened. There's always tension. There's always some family member that someone's not getting along with, which impacts everyone. There's always stress, oh, we need to clean everything. I love that video. I don't know what social media site it's been on for years. It's like this guy dressed up as a mom and he's like cleaning everything and saying, we have to make it look like we don't live here. Like, oh, it's dirty, throw it away. It's like these people get so intense about patience are so high, so high. And we see that with Clark Grisml just like really wanting this unbelievably high, perfect version of the holidays, which is just impossible. Right. But I mean, just the expectations for the cooking, the cleaning, the finances, the gifts, like the travel behavior. Yeah. Children behaving like all of that. And then let's throw in some alcohol. Right. Which flows freely at most holiday events. And so then everyone's a little bit more loose lipped and we miss things, I think, when we're intoxicated. Right. So we make assumptions. It's kind of a recipe for diSaster. And I think, right, or the perfect SNL skip. Well, that's true. Or the perfect show, like the Bear. Right. So the Bear did an excellent portrayal of chaos on a holiday. If you haven't seen that show, please do watch it and then listen to our episodes about it. So I think, isn't it Thanksgiving or the 4 July or one of them that has the most, like, er visits? Maybe it's Thanksgiving because of the frying, the turkeys. People get stabbed. Like, there's family together. There's so much drinking, there's football. It's like Thanksgiving, I've heard, has like a higher ER rate. I know 4 July does for firework injuries, fire blowing, stuff like that. But yeah. And then, so you just add to it. That's just like baseline stressors, I guess. And then if you add into it, like, someone's struggling with a substance use disorder or anxiety, depression, eating disorder. Eating disorder. Like any of this stuff, grief around the holidays is really hard, especially if you've experienced significant loss around a holiday or let's say you don't have a lot of family. It's a reminder. Isolated. Yeah. It's a reminder of what you've lost. So holidays are really stressful, and it can be really hard to set healthy limits and have healthy boundaries with yourself, both in terms of concrete things, like how much money you're spending on gifts or stuff like that, and then also just, like, emotional boundaries with interacting with people in the family who might be hard to interact with. No, totally. The scene that the movie kind of, like, opens up with is them getting their Christmas tree. Right. So Clark, Ellen, and then the two kids, Audrey and Russ. So John Paulecki, who is in, you know, is little Russ. And then we have Juliet Lewis, who is now in one of our newer favorite shows, Yellow Jackets. Great cast. And then Ellen Griswold, Beverly Angelo. She was a bigger star at a reoccurring role in Entourage as herself now. And she's kind of this rough woman who's like a boss of a competing company. Nice. So obviously, Chevy Chase has been a lot of things, but we immediately see just, like, Chevy Chase's Clark Road rage and just, like, reactivity. Yeah. And, like, selfish streak. You're putting your family in danger. Yeah, exactly. And just, like, impulsivity, too, like, not thinking ahead or thinking things through. Like, they get there and no one has anything to cut the tree down with. And then they get it home and it doesn't really fit. Then we just cut it in half and we get the chainsaw out. It's just really interesting. He's an interesting character, to say the least. Yeah. Ellen seems to be always kind of trying to level head in, make him more aware of what's happening and his choices. And one of my favorite scenes for just comedic reason is when they're in bed that night and they have the sap stuck to their fingers and everything is sticking and just pulling like I just did. They're pulling the lamps and touching paper, and it's just so ridiculous. But if you've ever touched sap, it is impossible to get off. You can get it off with sugar. Oh, good to know. Yeah. Hot tip. But even then he's struggling. He can't do it himself. So he grabs it and takes it on, and then she gets to stop on her. And that's, like a perfect metaphor, I feel like, for that relationship, I don't know how she puts up with him. No, it's a lot. Yeah. All the characters kept saying, like, you're such a good dad. Just calm down. He needed a lot of reassurance. He did need a lot of reassurance, which I don't know what that's about. It seemed like he had some happy memories of childhood. Right. So he has two, you know, still married. They seem. Of the two sets of grandparents, they seem nicer and, like, less. Yeah. So Ellen's parents are very judgy. Francis and. What is his name? Frank. So Francis is played by Doris Roberts. So we've seen her in many, many things over the years. Like, something. Raymond. Everybody loves Raymond. Yep. The mom in that. So she's just like, immediately like, oh, you cut your hair. Oh, you smoking again? And we see Ellen responding to strEss, so she starts smoking. She also, before they even got here, was, like, in bed. In that scene in bed at the beginning, like, I heard everyone's coming. We could tell them all not to. And I was like, listen to that instant. Yeah. Would it be rude to ask them to stay in a hotel? You could just tell they were, like, bracing for it. I loved when all the grandparents got there, how they're just filling everyone in on their physical ailments. I got a bunion. Can you rub my feet? And Russ is like, ew, he wants to die. And then Audrey being like, I don't want to share bed with my brother. It's just, like, so funny. But, like, classic having everyone under the same roof. Oh, my gosh, the grandparents. I just love grandparents. And I personally can't wait to be older, I think. I don't know if I've told you, but I have three careers lined up in my mind. Tell our audience an elder one is to be an actress and be like the elderly grandma in all the movies. Like Doris, right? That's her name, yes. Another is to go hold babies at the hospital. Just be the person, like, in the NICU holding the babies. And the third, my favorite idea is I want to go sit at wedding dress shops and just tell all the brides, like, how beautiful they look every time they come out, just like, really sweet. That's either going to be creepy or sweet, right? Yeah. We'll depend on the bride. Yeah. And their personal history. Right. And I think if I can just be, like, the token loving grandmother with, like, muffins. You look beautiful. Cottage core, your little sweaters. Yeah, exactly. That'll be very nice. But watching this movie, I was like, ooh, I don't know. Yeah. All the grandma a little rough, and they seem to not like each other. It seems like the two grandparents don't get along. Yeah. And that creates a lot of stress for everyone, which I would imagine that being stressful. And also, I think it's lovely to invite people to stay at your house if you have the space, but if people have the means and if you don't, sometimes we got to make things work, and that's lovely, too. But if people have the means, we don't need to sleep on the floor. I don't know. I mean, I know that it's fun to wake up on holidays in the morning with people, but just come over. But is it fun? Yeah. Well, I think you really have to ask yourself that question. I think in this household, it's a no. Yeah. What about, like, Cousin Eddie showing up in the RV? So that was a twist. You could see, like, almost trauma. He's like. He can't believe it. He's just, like, speechless. He's kind of turning his head back and forth, back and forth. So they're all admiring the lights, which seems like it was a very stressful situation for Russ, who's one of his favorite lines of mind that I say frequently when, like, don't want to do something. So he's like, yeah, Dad, I got to do my homework. I got to feed the hog. He recites all these things that they don't have, and I just say that with my partner. We say it all the time. We don't want to do something. So he kind of backs out. And you see Clark lose his mind when the lights are not turning on. Right. He's kicking the Santa. He's having this big reaction, a little childlike. Right. It's kind of a temper tantrum, which makes me think that he doesn't have a lot of distress tolerance or, like, coping. Emotion regulation. Regulation. Strong point. Yeah. Also, it was a lot of lights. A lot of lights. Almost felt a little hypomanic at times. Right. Or, like, impulsive. Like, one thing you had mentioned, hyper focus. Yeah. Is like, does Clark have ADHD? Yeah. I mean, the data is. Think I'd love to do a Vanderbilt with him. Yeah. You added an additional symptom that I didn't see online, but I think it's true. Right. He's very impulsive. Very impulsive. Yeah. Like, with the road rage, with deciding to do this or to do that or just really going with it. The hyper focus. So he can't stop doing something, even at the risk of getting hurt. So that's when kind of some more potential traumatic brain injuries or TBIs come into our count of, I think it was nine head traumas during the entire movie. So he doesn't really give close attention or details. He makes careless mistakes. You see him stapling his little. Stapling his glove. He has so many. But then he doesn't just take his hand out of the glove. He's trying to rip the glove off. So again, decision making, trouble keeping attention or tasks. Doesn't seem to listen when spoken directly to. I can see that sometimes with his kids, he's just kind of looking away or like, how we would say, like, maybe La la Land. He doesn't name misses important details. He doesn't call his daughter Aubrey ever. He's like, oh, yeah, she's over there. Something. It's just weird. And is he being a jerk or is that inattentiveness? Trouble organizing, loses things, all the gifts. Right? He is digging around in the ceiling attic, and then he finds, like, ten gifts from years past. Distracted, forgetful. So there's a lot there where he very well could meet criteria for that. And I think he's also, at least in some ways, kind of a jerk. So, like, you can have ADHD and be a jerk. You can have ADHD and not be a jerk. So it's like a jerk and not have ADHD. Exactly. Diagram. Exactly. Yeah. No, I totally agree. It's interesting to think about does he have ADHD, and is this part of why he's trying to overcompensate? Right, because sometimes I think people will try to do that to make up for it in some way, but then the stuff they're trying to do to overcompensate, like, in this case, requires a lot of planning and organizing and execution, which is hard for anyone, but especially if you add in, like, an inattentive ADHD, he's also really hyperactive, so he's probably bumping around. Yeah, definitely. Even, like, the impulsive things he says to people and some of the altercations he would get into verbally, I think, could meet criteria for that, too. So he's this big family man, right? So there's a lot of things. That's how he kind of identifies himself. But then he's, like, flirting with that woman, Mary Lingerie place. I was, like, so turned off by that. Because then it's gross behavior. When his son comes over, he's like, suddenly like, oh, yikes. Because you don't want your son to see that, right? Because it's bad. I know. That's why he's, like, not, oh, I'm not married. Oh, she. That's Ew. Ick. Yeah. So back to Eddie. Seems like he's had some TBIs. I would say so. And he has some, you know, he refers to some sort of, like, surgery, right. Where he had a meta plate in his head. He refers to the VA. So it sounds like he's a veteran now. He's just, like, living on the road in the RV with his kids. Who. Financial problems. Yeah. He gave his money away to some minister online, it sounds like. Or on TV. Oh, no. Yeah. His kids also have had to TBI. Right. They referred Mary Lou. Oh, her eyes aren't crossed anymore. Right. Well, she got kicked in the head and they cross, and then she got kicked in the head again and they uncross. Spoiler alert, that's not how it works. But in this movie, I guess so it seems like they're kind of really down on their luck. And I'm like, do the kids go to school? Are you trying to convey. They don't go to school. They're just in the RV. And one older daughter's, like, in alcohol rehab. The other one's going to be in the carnival circus or something. So they're just a hoot. And they show up. Surprisingly, you can see everyone's thrilled to see. And it's almost like it's a little sweet because despite their quirks and very obvious comedic role in the movie, it's like, it's sad. They're definitely, like you said, not having any luck right now. But one of the sweeter moments in the movie is when Clark is downstairs with Ruby sue, right? She thinks he's Santa, and he has a sweet moment with her about Santa. And then when they're at the Christmas Eve, they're like, oh, we saw there was Santa sighting over this, and they all get really excited. Like, that's sweet. It was sweet. And that was a cute Christmas Eve with all there and waiting for Santa and stuff. So there are some sweet moments in the movie. That's probably why it's so successful is because it is funny. It is sweet. And I think it also still portrays these family dynamics that I think everyone can relate. Uncle sue just showing up or so and so having a little too much eggnog, right. Or Grandma over there singing the Star Spangled Band or Grandpa lighting the tree on Foster. He's just always lighting a cigar, like, all the time. So speaking of Margot and Todd, in a non psychological way, because this isn't really, like, a diagnosis, but they could use a little holiday spirit. They seem a little like curmudgeony, which is not. And it's only because they are, I think, maybe traumatized by having Clark as a. So. Right. Like, he's cutting down the tree because. Right. As we said, the grandpa, I think it's not Francis, but, like, burns it down. Clark freaks out. Right. Because it's ruining, like, which, again, if you had a fire in your house on the holiday, I would be reactive. But it's not about the fire. It's about, like, we don't have a tree. Yeah. So he goes into the yard. He goes out there with the mask. I know. And just chainsaws it down. It goes through the neighbor's window. Exactly. Smashes it. Meanwhile, they're getting TBIs, falling down the stairs. A lot of concussions in this movie. A lot of window smashing, too. Like, at the end, when the SWAT team shows up to rescue their boss, Todd won't go over and confront. So Margot does. She's ****** about it, like, banging on the door, opens it, and the squirrel attacks her. And then the dog jumps on her. What did you think of the squirrel? So symbolic with chaos. I think it's one of my. I know I've said this ten times already, but it's just such a good scene. It's running around the house. They're all running around with it. They're, like, freaking out. It's like. I don't know. It's a squirrel. But have you ever had a squirrel in your house? I've had, like, a bird. I had a squirrel once. Were you freaking out? Yeah, we were in an apartment at the time. It was a second floor apartment, and we had noticed we were renting it under this sink. There was, like, a hole that was getting bigger and bigger. And I was like, that's never good kitchen. Yeah. I was like, that's weird. And then one day, I just heard this scratching noise. I was like, is that a mouse? And I go and open it. A squirrel darts out. Like. Just like that. Just like the squirrel girl in this movie. Yes. Darts out. And luckily, I'd had the door opened at the balcony, and it ran out there, and I just slammed the door, like, as fast as I could. But it was terrifying. It was shocking. Yes. Just like this. So I was like, oh, my God. I know that feeling. Like, all of a sudden, I thought it was a bird at first in the tree, but then, no, it was crazy squirrel. Yeah. My in laws had a squirrel like infestation in their attic years ago. They have it all fixed now, but squirrels kept getting in. They kept covering the hole or whatever. They kept chewing through it. It was a nightmare. It was so hard to get rid of. And they kept appearing. They'd wake up and hear the scratches in the ceiling. So I guess this is common. Another family member of mine had, like, flying squirrels in his house. They would come in through the light fixtures. They're a little smaller. Yeah, it's just like, what is this? All these squirrels. You know what it also made me think of? Cruzfeld Yakov disease. Do you know what that is? I knew you weren't going to know this. I'm really excited. So random. So say it again. Kruzfeld Yakov disease. CJD. Because this is one of the most interesting things I ever learned in medical school. So there's a class of disorders called prion diseases, where prions are like misfolded proteins that lead to basically bigger cells and stuff, like can't function. So Cruzfeld, the AOC of disease, is something where it's a prion disease, and it's really sad because it's very fatal very quickly, and there's really not a lot you can do for it. So it's people who all of a sudden develop memory loss, trouble walking, muscle weakness, personality changes, they stop eating, and then they die pretty quickly. There's a variant of this that comes from eating squirrel brains. Yeah, that is why I thought of it. I believe it's called kuru kuru. And they discovered this back in an island in Papua New guinea where culturally, people would eat squirrel brains. If you remember back in the day, mad cow disease in London, that's a prion disease that people got from eating infected cows that had the prion disease. So it's very transmissible, which is scary if you eat, but you have to eat the infected meat, basically. So you can't get like Kruzfeld Yakub from sneezing or saliva or anything like that. You get it from eating the tissue. Another reason to be vegetarian. Or there's a random variant, which is what a lot of humans randomly get, and then there's like a genetic variant to where it could run in families. Anyway, so, yeah, in medical school, I learned about this prion disease that came from eating squirrel brains. And I was like, what? But then I thought, what if Uncle Eddie ate that squirrel? Like, I could see him doing that. Well, they've said that they eat squirrels. I know. That's why I started thinking about the preon disease. But no, I don't think Uncle Eddie has the prion disease because he's functioning too well, despite how he's actually functioning. But anyway, just a fun little tidbit that's interesting. Well, if I'm ever in the wild, I will not. Brain. Yeah. Don't eat squirrel. Brain. Yeah. Okay. Fun fact. I think in some cultures, it's like a delicacy. In other cultures, there's some cultures where there's some cannibalism as part of funeral rituals and things like that. And that can lead to pre owned disease. So try to avoid it. Now you know. Now you know, the more you know. So another stressor in this movie is finances, right? So we see Clark kind of planning on this bonus, which a lot of people do have anticipatory kind of regular guaranteed bonuses. And it's like a part of your salary because at first, I remember watching this as a kid and being like, well, why would you overspend, silly. But now I said, he's gotten it for, like 17 years or something. It's a part of your kind of guaranteed schedule income. And so he's planning to, again, have this perfect moment where he has this pool and he's, like, envisioning, right, this pool party with Mary there, which is weird, but whatever. And so then he finds out, right, that he doesn't get it. And he's waiting. And he's waiting. You can see him getting more and more because he already put the deposit down. Exactly. And it sounds like he doesn't have the money to do that, which is without the bone. It's a little risky. But then he finally gets the letter and announces to the whole family, before he opens it, I know what he's going to do with it. Everyone's excited. Everyone can't wait to see it. And then it's the jelly of the Month club. And he, which rightfully so, but loses it, right? He goes on that rant that is bleeped out a lot if you watch it on live TV. It's not if you watch it on the streaming service, but it's like. And it's, again, one of the iconic moments of the whole movie. Eddie, which is super sweet, sees how upset he is, wants to do something about. And he know he doesn't know what to get Clark. And Clark says, all I want is for the boss to be here wrapped up in a bow. And so Eddie's like, oh, light bulb. Oh, my God, he does it. So he goes and gets him, kidnaps this man puts a bow on him. I'm like, where'd you get the bow? Not important. Brings him back from what? Car dealership, literally. And then they find out and then they all crash through the windows. And of course, Ellen's like, frozen, holding. So funny, though. Private party, said, like, freeze. That was like, really funny. And then even the boss is frozen. They're like, not you. But then the wife learns that he went back on his word and did jelly of the Month club and she chastises him for it. She's really upset. And then they learn that everyone's getting more money this year and it's going to be great. And then they're all happy, and I'm just like, whoa, then what happens? ANd then Aunt Bethany sings the national anthem as the know because Eddie put all the nasty stuff in the sewer and Lewis lights it on fire. So they're all singing and it's just like the best moment of Christmas of all. It's perfect. That's what Christmas is really all about, Clark. Family connection, family veterans and fire. God bless America. God bless America. Oh, my God. It's wonderful. It's so funny. It's so funny. But it's so true. Like, the financial stress that can come from the holidays is insane, right? I think just with the capitalist society we live in, the materialism. And you really do lose sight of what the reason for the season, and that's different for everyone. But it's not just presenting money. I think everyone can agree it's not about that, right? I think it is about giving, but within reason. And so, yeah, I think that's a nice spot to sort of start wrapping up, is like, yeah, it is about giving. And some tips I think that we have as therapists for managing stress around the holidays. I think one little catchphrase I really like, which ties in nicely to the fiery end to the movie, is don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. And by that, it sort of reminds you, like, it's okay to have healthy limits and, like, don't overextend yourself. Especially, like, I think moms tend to do this. You see Clark doing this. Don't try to be a superhero to make everyone else happy and just don't. Or if it's too much to go to this house on Christmas Eve, then this house on Christmas Day and then grandparents on Christmas night, don't come up with a new plan. And keep in mind that you're allowed to enjoy your holiday, too. And that, again, trying to keep in mind, like, what's your reason for the season? Yeah. And I think trying to take a step back and figuring out what is your favorite part. Right. Like, what's important to you. Is it being all together on Christmas morning and staying in matching pajamas? Like, great. Is it the food great? Is it seeing certain people great? But it's like, which part brings you the most joy and how can you invest in that and let some of the other things. Exactly. Exactly. And I think one thing I always encourage people to do, especially if you run more on the perfectionistic side or you're really going above and beyond, like we see Clark doing is okay, like, what are your expectations? And then reduce it by like half and just settle into, like, well, how would I feel if only these things got great? Like, try to just take the pressure off yourself a little bit so that you're not just doing and doing and going and going, but you can actually be present in the festivities or the events and you can find some enjoyment in it. Right. One podcast I love to listen to called the Deep Dive, I don't know if you've ever heard of that one, but they always talk about something called, like, tree time, where one of them in her iPhone calendar has like a half hour every day where it's tree time and she and her kids just sit in front of the tree and just look at and connect. Isn't that beautiful? Because they used to spend all this time getting the tree, decorating the tree, putting presents under the tree. But how often do you actually just sit in front of it and take it in and sit there with your kids with no distractions and stuff like that? So I think it's important to build that stuff in. Yeah, no, I think it's really just about connecting with your values and what's going to make you feel connected. I mean, we have typically not for everyone, but like time off. So how can you spread things out? I love spreading things out. It's like, what's better than having three Christmases? So we don't need to fit everything in in that 24 hours period. Right. But I don't know. I like the idea also of you had mentioned just like volunteering and how can you give back in any way, big or small, around that time of year? What does that look like? Can you turn that into like a family tradition and then for managing the stress that comes from family dynamics? I think if you can use humor as best you can, that's always really helpful, especially if there's just that one person who, no matter what, gets under your skin or creates a scene or just stuff like that. You have to keep in mind you're responsible for your own behavior, and that's it. You can't control other people's behavior, their feelings, or how they're going to react. So there's just that one nudge. Is there a way with your partner or someone to kind of turn it into a funny little game? Or how long is it going to be till so and so does this, or till so and so does that? Is there any way to try to just accept what you anticipate will happen and try not to take it personally? This is where I also love to encourage people to put on their. What I call **** raincoats. You just imagine you got your **** raincoat on, and whatever's thrown at you just rolls right off. Crude. It is helpful, though, to have some anticipation, right? So whether you are in therapy, perfect time to talk about it with your therapist. If you have a partner, talk about with them or whoever you are attending, maybe an event with or even yourself you can do this with. But just, like, what do you expect? What do we know about your family? What can you anticipate is going to happen? And just preparing for yourself, right? So if I was going into this holiday event, and I was a guest and I was another cousin coming, I might say if I knew everyone who was there, that cousin Eddie is a little interesting, and he might say some off color things, and he's Eddie. And I'm either going to make light of it, or I'm going to walk in the other room and take some space. And if Clark is saying unkind things to someone or beating himself up, like asking myself, knowing Clark, is it appropriate to get involved? Do I offer him positive feedback? Will that make it worse? We know so much about our families, more than we often think we do, that you just have to spend maybe five minutes going through the people who are going to be there. What do you expect? And then what can you do about it, right? And how can you handle it? How can you maintain your own sense of wellness and your own boundaries? And it's okay and healthier to walk away, to take some space, go for a walk, stay in a hotel, than to find yourself engaging in these toxic dynamics or fighting or things like that. So sometimes even just having, like, an exit strategy or a game plan can be really helpful, even if you don't have to use it. Just knowing you know what you do is really helpful. Really helpful. So good luck. Good luck. I hope you enjoy the holidays. Thanks for tuning into this episode as we wrap up our first calendar year of podcasting, which is really exciting again, follow us on analyze Scripts podcast at Instagram and TikTok. If you're enjoying our content, please please rate, review, subscribe, and share. We're hoping to really grow in the new year and we will see you next Monday. Yeah, take care. Bye. This podcast and its contents are a copyright of analyzed scripts. All rights reserved. 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