The Luella Jonk Show

Episode #52: Missing Discipline in Modern Love


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In this deeply personal solo episode, I'm getting real about the epidemic I see everywhere - in my therapy room, in marriages, and in our culture at large. We're not just deficient in Vitamin D from the sun; we're starving for Vitamin D as in Discipline, and it's destroying our capacity for lasting love.

From my own journey growing up in the 70s and 80s alongside the "you can do it all" mentality to witnessing the fallout in countless relationships, I'm sharing why our obsession with convenience and instant gratification is creating emotional fragility that's killing our marriages before they even have a chance to thrive.

In this episode, I walk you through:

✅ Why discipline isn't punishment - it's love in right order and the secret to deep fulfillment

✅ How our addiction to convenience is creating marriages built on feelings instead of committed acts of love

✅ The forgotten truth that love is a decision, not just a feeling - and why that changes everything

✅ Why "sacred suffering" and small daily sacrifices are the currency that builds unshakeable relationships

✅ Practical anchors to restore sacred order: from cooking together to screen sabbaths that will transform your family

✅ How the "I don't feel in love anymore" epidemic is really about our inability to choose love as a verb

✅ Why teaching our children that desires don't need instant obedience is the most loving thing we can do

If you're exhausted from trying to control everything, frustrated by the lack of depth in your relationships, or wondering why modern marriages feel so disposable, this episode will challenge you to reconsider what real love looks like.

As I share from my own struggles with wanting to "do it all" and the price tag that came with it, you'll discover that the path to joy isn't through endless options and convenience - it's through the beautiful constraint of choosing love daily, even when we don't feel like it.

🔔 Remember: Love isn't just an emotion - it's a verb. As Saint Paul wrote to Timothy, we're called to "fight the good fight," not just feel the good feelings. The more you sacrifice, the more you love, and paradoxically, the more fulfilled you become.

This isn't exactly a cheery episode, but it's what will bring you joy - not just on your deathbed, but as you grow older and wiser. Let's start a resistance movement together, developing more discipline in all our lives because you deserve to reclaim sacred order in your life, your marriage, and your family.

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Ready to dive deeper? If this message resonates with you, take a screenshot and text it to someone who needs to hear it. Better yet, bring up these topics at your own dinner table. Let's make discipline the new movement - one act of holy discipline at a time.

Stay rooted, stay resistant, and above all, stay in love.

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The Luella Jonk ShowBy Dr. Luella Jonk, PhD

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