[Explicit language]

Two movies titled The Package enter, only one will leave (with that title) as Herman “OmegaPrime” Davis, David Vitrano, and Robert Rau watch Dolph Lundgren deliver quality cooking tips to Steve Austin while trying to kill him — and Gene Hackman save the free world from Tommy Lee Jones’ laugh — to determine which movie should be called The Package.

Dolph Lundgren makes his second appearance in as many weeks as a dying foodie who wants Steve Austin to deliver a package to him, but runs into some problems. One of those is the lack of athleticism range by the stars, since Steve Austin’s proficiency is strictly wrestling-based, and Dolph prefers the enemy to stroll towards him gradually. They do say “the package” a ton, probably to drive the point home, and to remind the audience this is the thing they are trying to accomplish.

The second movie has the advantage of being a well-put-together government conspiracy with quality actors, alleviating the necessity of yelling “the package” every 20 seconds. Gene Hackman is tasked with delivering Tommy Lee Jones to America to face a court-martial, but things get mixed up along the way, and now he has to stop an assassination. Since this is shot in Chicago, you’ll see traces of both The Fugitive and The French Connection, enough to where you might actually enjoy this movie.

Will either movie be able to keep its title, or be forced to endure the clever pun David has come up with? Listen if you dare.

(function() {

var referer="";try{if(referer=document.referrer,"undefined"==typeof referer)throw"undefined"}catch(exception){referer=document.location.href,(""==referer||"undefined"==typeof referer)&&(referer=document.URL)}referer=referer.substr(0,700);

var rcel = document.createElement("script");

rcel.id = 'rc_' + Math.floor(Math.random() * 1000);

rcel.type = 'text/javascript';

rcel.src = "https://trends.revcontent.com/serve.js.php?w=71989&t="+rcel.id+"&c="+(new Date()).getTime()+"&width="+(window.outerWidth || document.documentElement.clientWidth)+"&referer="+referer;

rcel.async = true;

var rcds = document.getElementById("rcjsload_666cf4"); rcds.appendChild(rcel);

})();

(function($){

$(document).ready(function(){

});

})(jQuery);

(function ($) {

var bsaProContainer = $('.bsaProContainer-4');

var number_show_ads = "0";

var number_hide_ads = "0";

if ( number_show_ads > 0 ) {

setTimeout(function () { bsaProContainer.fadeIn(); }, number_show_ads * 1000);

}

if ( number_hide_ads > 0 ) {

setTimeout(function () { bsaProContainer.fadeOut(); }, number_hide_ads * 1000);

}

})(jQuery);

Do you have an idea or even want to join the “There Can Be Only One” gang at their next viewing party? Email Robert Rau with your movie suggestion, the days you’re free to watch, and how much beer you can bring.

Follow The Family Dinner on Twitter @thefamilydinner, and subscribe to the group’s Facebook page.

 

Show credits:

* Director/Producer: Robert Rau

* Executive Producer: Jeremy White