Slogan coiner extraordinaire Nicole is back to join G and Shannon for the horniest chapter yet—Chapter 8 of Eclipse, in which Bella finally gets some horizontal action and Jacob pops a… soda? Plus: blonde vs brunette reading experiences, Chris Hansen’s To Catch a Predator: La Push Edition, and a spot of jalice trutherism. Will this be the episode where G and Shannon do a 180 and become Team Edward? As a wise woman once said: “It happens.”

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