In this episode, Todd Robatin discusses the importance of empathy in leadership, contrasting it with ego. He emphasizes that empathy is not a weakness but a strategic skill that fosters trust and understanding in teams. Through various examples, he illustrates how leaders can practice empathy to create stronger relationships and improve team dynamics. The conversation highlights the need for leaders to pause and consider the feelings and perspectives of others, ultimately leading to more effective and compassionate leadership.

Transcript:

Welcome back to the humble throne, the space where quiet leadership gets loud in all the right ways. I'm Todd Robatin and today we begin season two. This is episode six, empathy over ego, because sometimes the most transformative leadership starts with a choice to feel before we fix. Let me tell you something I've learned over the years. Ego wants the last word, but empathy wants the whole story. Ego rushes to defend, but empathy pauses to understand. And in today's world, leaders aren't just being asked to deliver results. They're being asked to be human. You see, empathy isn't weakness. It's strategic emotional intelligence. It's the ability to hold someone else's experience with care, even when we feel uncomfortable. And especially when we feel misunderstood. Because empathy says, see you, not just I need something from you. And in workplaces, families, and communities, that shift changes everything. Think about the last time someone truly listened to you. Not to fix, not to advise, just to understand. What did that feel like? Now flip the script. When was the last time you offered that kind of space to someone else? Because empathy is a mirror. It reflects what we're willing to hold for others and what we're brave enough to receive ourselves. You know, a manager I coached once was navigating a pretty big conflict with her team. She kept asking, why don't they trust me? Something seems off and I can't figure it out. And eventually she realized she hadn't taken the time to listen. She had great ideas, impressive credentials, but there was no relational bridge with her team. And so we sat down and we reframed her next team meeting. She opened up with one simple question to every person in the room. She asked, what's one thing you wish I understood about your work? And it changed the room. The answers, they were brave. They were honest. They were transparent and raw. But here's the thing. She didn't interrupt once. And that's empathy. Letting others lead the emotional dialogue just for a moment so you can understand. And empathize instead of just dictating orders. And here's the paradox. Empathy strengthens authority, not erodes it. Because when people feel understood, they respond with trust, with loyalty, with honesty. And ego, well, it might get obedience, but it rarely earns true, authentic commitment. Ego says, I need to be right. Empathy says, I need to understand. Ego says, let me prove my point. Empathy says, let me hear yours. And here's the truth. Most of us toggle between the two continually. Even the most emotionally intelligent leaders and available, they feel the pool of ego. But the difference is they notice it, they name it, and they choose empathy anyway. And with that, here are today's humble truths. Number one, empathy isn't a feeling. It's a skill. You can practice it. You can strengthen it. You can lead it. Number two, power grows when ego shrinks. The more space you make for others on your team, on your family, in your community, in your life, the more influence and trust you earn. And number three, the best leaders are emotionally available, not emotionally reactive. They respond. They don't explode. They hold space, even when it's hard. So let's sit with these for a moment. Think about a relationship in your life, professional or personal, where tension exists. And ask yourself, am I leading with empathy or protecting my own ego? Now, this isn't a blame game. It's not to shame you, but it's about awareness because empathy doesn't mean that you agree with everyone. Most times you won't, but it does mean you're willing to understand their point of view and where they're coming from, what their full story is and that willingness to understand. That's the foundation of trust. So here's a practice we can all implement. We'll call this one the empathy pause. Before your next difficult conversation, before you pick up the phone, send that email, open that Teams meeting, walk into the room, ask yourself these three questions. What might they, the person you're meeting with or the team you're meeting with, what might they be feeling right now? What story might they be telling themselves? And what do I want them to feel after this conversation? In this pause, it doesn't take long, just a few seconds really, but it changes everything because it shifts your posture from proving to authentically connecting. From defensive dominance to relational understanding. You know, a nonprofit director I worked with in the past, they had a staff member who was underperforming, to say the least. She was ready to let him go. But something told her to pause and rethink that decision. She didn't know why. And instead of a termination meeting, she scheduled a coffee chat, just a wellness check-in, if you will. And she asked plainly, how are you doing? Really. And he broke down. Turns out he was caring for a sick parent, working the night shifts and was barely sleeping, running on fumes. And now she didn't excuse his performance, that was still his to own, but she did adjust her expectations. She offered support and in the end, over time, he turned things around. And that's empathy. It doesn't ignore accountability, but it does humanize it. It makes it personal. And so I'll ask you, where are you leading from ego when empathy might get you further? What conversation, team dynamic, or relationship deserves more listening than logic? Likely, there's more instances than just one. But it's what you do with that knowledge that makes all the difference. And it changes your impact and your leadership, both in the short term and the long term. Next time, we'll explore humble teams with big impact. How trust, shared power, and quiet collaboration can move mountains. But today, remember, empathy isn't soft. It's strong enough to hold what ego can't. It's strategic, it's relational, and it's the quiet superpower of every great leader. Thanks for leading with your whole heart and letting empathy do what ego never could. This is the humble throne.

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