In this episode of the Trauma and the Brain Podcast, Chantell Tilly-Anderson and licensed professional counselor Matt Lasslo explore regret through a trauma lens. They unpack the difference between regret, guilt, and shame, and talk about how trauma can turn “I wish I’d done that differently” into “there’s something wrong with me.” Matt explains why the brain clings to should have / would have / could have thinking, the “Back to the Future” alternate-timeline fantasy, and the painful experience of mourning the unrealized self — the version of us who never got the chance to exist. Together, they look at how shame gets installed, why survivors often feel they “deserve” to suffer, and how blame, control, and shame get tangled up. The episode closes with practical ways to bring regret back into the present: recognizing victimization without blaming yourself, identifying unmet needs, using mindfulness to return to the here-and-now, and turning regret into action that moves you toward the life you want today.