[Explicit language]

Two movies titled Dark Places enter, only one will leave (with that title) as Herman “OmegaPrime” Davis and Robert Rau watch Christopher Lee and Joan Collins crazy up a dude for his money — and Charlize Theron solve her family’s murder for money — to see which should be called Dark Places.

Money is useful, and certainly a motive for someone to do bad things. But both of these movies do their best to make their stars look like awful human beings just for money. First up is a 1973 horror movie starring Christopher Lee and Joan Collins. Lee pimps out his sister Collins because they think there’s a butt load of cash hidden in a house. The sex part works because Joan Collins is on her game, but neither of our stars realize how nuts their mark is. Said mark starts having flashbacks to various murders that took place in the house. Sure it’s slow, but so are most ’70s horror movies, but most importantly, “dark place” isn’t used to refer to anything.

The second film has some serious pedigree thanks to Gone Girl author Gillian Flynn, who wrote the book Dark Places this movie is derived from. Theron is a survivor of a deadly murder that kills her whole family, except for a brother she says did all the killing. Now she’s older, lazier, and motivated by a Death Club’s donation to figure out who really killed her family. While certainly not as good as Gone Girl, being based on a book with the same name certainly helps.

Will a horror flick be able to keep its title despite a strong case for a moderately budgeted flop? Listen if you dare.

(function() {

var referer="";try{if(referer=document.referrer,"undefined"==typeof referer)throw"undefined"}catch(exception){referer=document.location.href,(""==referer||"undefined"==typeof referer)&&(referer=document.URL)}referer=referer.substr(0,700);

var rcel = document.createElement("script");

rcel.id = 'rc_' + Math.floor(Math.random() * 1000);

rcel.type = 'text/javascript';

rcel.src = "https://trends.revcontent.com/serve.js.php?w=71989&t="+rcel.id+"&c="+(new Date()).getTime()+"&width="+(window.outerWidth || document.documentElement.clientWidth)+"&referer="+referer;

rcel.async = true;

var rcds = document.getElementById("rcjsload_666cf4"); rcds.appendChild(rcel);

})();

(function($){

$(document).ready(function(){

});

})(jQuery);

(function ($) {

var bsaProContainer = $('.bsaProContainer-4');

var number_show_ads = "0";

var number_hide_ads = "0";

if ( number_show_ads > 0 ) {

setTimeout(function () { bsaProContainer.fadeIn(); }, number_show_ads * 1000);

}

if ( number_hide_ads > 0 ) {

setTimeout(function () { bsaProContainer.fadeOut(); }, number_hide_ads * 1000);

}

})(jQuery);

Do you have an idea or even want to join the “There Can Be Only One” gang at their next viewing party? Email Robert Rau with your movie suggestion, the days you’re free to watch, and how much beer you can bring.

Follow The Family Dinner on Twitter @thefamilydinner, and subscribe to the group’s Facebook page.

 

Show credits:

* Director/Producer: Robert Rau