So, what counters this natural tendency to play the victim in my own life? How can I not fume at every stop light or slow driver who happens to be in front of me? On the one hand, I can scold myself – tell myself to shape up and be nicer. But I have two problems with this approach. First, I think it lowers my mood – which I frankly don't want to do if I can help it, and second, it doesn't work.

Instead of just getting down on myself, my approach is to practice respect...