The Luella Jonk Show

Episode #62: Why Your Marriage Feels Hard (It's Supposed To)


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I'm speaking directly to anyone feeling worn out, disconnected, or questioning whether their marriage is worth fighting for. After 25 years as a therapist, I've witnessed countless couples chase surface-level solutions while missing the profound spiritual foundation that makes relationships truly thrive.

Today, I'm sharing why I've shifted from relying solely on psychology to embracing theology in my practice—because the deepest pain I see isn't just emotional, it's spiritual. We're living in a culture of instant gratification that has forgotten what sacrificial love actually looks like, and our marriages are paying the price.

In this episode, I walk you through:

✅ Why marriage isn't a contract but a sacred calling—and how this perspective changes everything

✅ The truth about happiness vs. holiness in relationships (and why 51% happiness might be enough)

✅ How modern culture's obsession with identity labels is creating more division, not inclusion

✅ Why children have become commodities in our quest to have "what we want"

✅ The three ways to understand Christ's peace in the storm—and how it applies to your struggling marriage

✅ Daily acts of love that transform ordinary moments into sacred offerings

I'm not sugar-coating this: marriage is hard, and some days you'll only find joy 30% of the time. But I'm here to tell you that what you're building matters—not just for you, but as the foundation from which all of society grows.

🔔 Remember: You weren't put here to fix your spouse or perfect your marriage. You were called to love sacrificially, show up consistently, and trust that even in the mess, you're participating in something eternal. 🔔

This isn't about staying in abusive situations—it's about recognizing the difference between genuine hardship and the selfishness that's destroying good marriages. If you're ready to stop chasing peace through control and start finding it through surrender, this episode is for you.

Don't miss this raw, honest conversation about what it really means to choose love when it costs you something—and why that choice might be the most important work you'll ever do.

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The Luella Jonk ShowBy Dr. Luella Jonk, PhD

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