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Episode 63: Ways Your Childhood Upbringing Can Impact You As An Adult & How To Break Unsupportive Cycles
In this share, I’m talking about what can happen when one or more of your basic needs isn't met in childhood and how to break any behavioural habits that are not supporting your mental and emotional well-being or your relationships.
I had friends over one afternoon and we got into a discussion about how the way we grew up impacted who we are and how we behave in certain situations today.
This conversation was a great reminder that no matter what your life was like growing up, it does inform who you are today. Good or bad, it made you, YOU.
Journal Questions From Episode:
- Are you a problem solver who believes you have to solve everyone’s problems even when they don’t ask for help?
- Are you a protector who comes to everyone else’s aid, putting your own wellbeing aside?
- Are you constantly people pleasing, making sure that everyone else’s emotional state is where you think it should be, but you yourself feel out of control, unloved, or not supported?
- Do you feel like not doing these things will somehow make people abandon you, or not love you?
It can be helpful to ask yourself some questions before you go into any of these default roles.
- Am I the one who needs to be solving this problem?
- Does this situation, or event require me to plan for a worst-case scenario, or can I just relax and enjoy myself?
- Do I need to be the protector in this situation
- Is it the adult me that is needing to people please, or have I just reverted back to a childhood behaviour where I feel it is my responsibility to keep the peace?
- Or, you can simply asking yourself, why am I not feeling safe? Or, is this behaviour supporting me?
- What do you do today that is from an old childhood behaviour? It kept you safe then, it would be good in a certain situation, but you don’t need it all the time. Think of the things that don’t feel mentally, emotionally or physically supportive and give you anxiety.
Embracing all part of YOU:
- What can you do to embrace who you are, what makes you, YOU, but change the pattern that doesn’t serve you in every situation?
- What reaction, response, behaviour, action or decision would be more supportive?
- If you felt the way you want to feel, what would you do differently?
Connect with Laurie-ann
Website
Additional Resources + Support Mentioned In The Episode
For additional support, these are some more resources mentioned in the episode.
Laurie-ann’s Digital Workshops
Book Recommendations:
View all episodes
By Laurie-ann SheldrickIn this share, I’m talking about what can happen when one or more of your basic needs isn't met in childhood and how to break any behavioural habits that are not supporting your mental and emotional well-being or your relationships.
I had friends over one afternoon and we got into a discussion about how the way we grew up impacted who we are and how we behave in certain situations today.
This conversation was a great reminder that no matter what your life was like growing up, it does inform who you are today. Good or bad, it made you, YOU.
Journal Questions From Episode:
- Are you a problem solver who believes you have to solve everyone’s problems even when they don’t ask for help?
- Are you a protector who comes to everyone else’s aid, putting your own wellbeing aside?
- Are you constantly people pleasing, making sure that everyone else’s emotional state is where you think it should be, but you yourself feel out of control, unloved, or not supported?
- Do you feel like not doing these things will somehow make people abandon you, or not love you?
It can be helpful to ask yourself some questions before you go into any of these default roles.
- Am I the one who needs to be solving this problem?
- Does this situation, or event require me to plan for a worst-case scenario, or can I just relax and enjoy myself?
- Do I need to be the protector in this situation
- Is it the adult me that is needing to people please, or have I just reverted back to a childhood behaviour where I feel it is my responsibility to keep the peace?
- Or, you can simply asking yourself, why am I not feeling safe? Or, is this behaviour supporting me?
- What do you do today that is from an old childhood behaviour? It kept you safe then, it would be good in a certain situation, but you don’t need it all the time. Think of the things that don’t feel mentally, emotionally or physically supportive and give you anxiety.
Embracing all part of YOU:
- What can you do to embrace who you are, what makes you, YOU, but change the pattern that doesn’t serve you in every situation?
- What reaction, response, behaviour, action or decision would be more supportive?
- If you felt the way you want to feel, what would you do differently?
Connect with Laurie-ann
Website
Additional Resources + Support Mentioned In The Episode
For additional support, these are some more resources mentioned in the episode.
Laurie-ann’s Digital Workshops
Book Recommendations: