We are kicking this episode off by talking about Paris Hilton's dog squad pet psychic, and we think we're uncovering pet psychic talents of our own. We're weighing in on the hooker-lite lifestyle and dyyyyying over instagram "influencers" who can stop taking pictures in a toxic lake in Siberia. Plus, we're covering a story that could only happen in West Virginia, about a couple using kung-fu as foreplay, with - you guessed it- disastrous and fatal results. Finally, we're talking about our sun signs, our rising signs, and the pitfalls of low-quality astrology.