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Episode 647 – Oliver Radclyffe
Virtual Memories Show 647:
Oliver Radclyffe
“I’m slightly staggered that the impetus to transition was so strong that even despite knowing what I was going to lose from it, I couldn’t stop it from happening.”
With his phenomenal debut memoir, FRIGHTEN THE HORSES (Roxane Gay Books/Grove Atlantic), Oliver Radclyffe takes us on a journey into trans-selfhood. We talk about the gap between a trans narrator and a cis-het reader, the importance of trans visibility, how his understanding of masculinity and being male have changed, and how he faced down the risks and sacrifices in his life as he transitioned, despite the uncertainty of what lay ahead. We get into how he found the perfect voice for his memoir, the importance of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy on his writing process, his life-defining moment of seeing Justin Vivian Bond, why being raised in privilege explained why he knew so little about the queer world, the surprisingly wonderful support his (conservative Christian) parents gave him throughout his journey, and why the book focuses on his pre-transition life. We also discuss whether he looks at photos of his pre-transition self, how testosterone has affected his life, how gender can shift with age, how the joy of publishing his first book has transformed him (and how he hopes it leads to a long mid-to-late-life writing career), whether he’s ready to be an empty-nester, what it means to find validation through performance and defining oneself through relationships, why he identifies as a gender-irrelevant transsexual, and a lot more. Give it a listen! And go read Frighten The Horses and Adult Human Male!
“I thought, ‘I’m coming out as trans in the book, so I’m going to upset all the nice, white English people, and at the same time, I’m coming out as upper-class English, so I’m possibly going to upset all the trans people because of my privilege.’ But it’s my story, and the truth of who I am.”
“One person’s steps is another person’s blind alley.”
“It may have taken me 50 years to get here, but I did it, and everything leads off from here.”
“It was hard to write about my relationship, because what you feel emotionally is so divorced from what you know intellectually.”
Enjoy the conversation! Then check out the archives for more great episodes!
Lots of ways to follow The Virtual Memories Show! iTunes, Spotify, BlueSky, Instagram, YouTube, Tumblr, and good ol’ RSS!
About our Guest
Oliver Radclyffe is a transgender writer whose work has appeared in the New York Times and Electric Literature, and his book of essays, Adult Human Male, was published in 2023 with Unbound Edition Press. He currently lives on the Connecticut coast, where he’s raising his four children. His new book is Frighten The Horses: A Memoir.
No pictures of his children, but we do have . . .
COOKIE!
and MUFFIN!
Credits: This episode’s music is Fella by Hal Mayforth, used with permission from the artist. The conversation was recorded at Oliver’s home on a pair of Blue enCORE 200 microphones feeding into a Zoom PodTrak P4 digital recorder & interface. I recorded the intro and outro on a Heil PR-40 Dynamic Studio Recording Microphone feeding into a Zoom PodTrak P4. All processing and editing done in Adobe Audition CC. Nice photo of Oliver by someone else; other pix by me. It’s on my instagram.
View all episodes
Virtual Memories Show 647:
Oliver Radclyffe
“I’m slightly staggered that the impetus to transition was so strong that even despite knowing what I was going to lose from it, I couldn’t stop it from happening.”
With his phenomenal debut memoir, FRIGHTEN THE HORSES (Roxane Gay Books/Grove Atlantic), Oliver Radclyffe takes us on a journey into trans-selfhood. We talk about the gap between a trans narrator and a cis-het reader, the importance of trans visibility, how his understanding of masculinity and being male have changed, and how he faced down the risks and sacrifices in his life as he transitioned, despite the uncertainty of what lay ahead. We get into how he found the perfect voice for his memoir, the importance of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy on his writing process, his life-defining moment of seeing Justin Vivian Bond, why being raised in privilege explained why he knew so little about the queer world, the surprisingly wonderful support his (conservative Christian) parents gave him throughout his journey, and why the book focuses on his pre-transition life. We also discuss whether he looks at photos of his pre-transition self, how testosterone has affected his life, how gender can shift with age, how the joy of publishing his first book has transformed him (and how he hopes it leads to a long mid-to-late-life writing career), whether he’s ready to be an empty-nester, what it means to find validation through performance and defining oneself through relationships, why he identifies as a gender-irrelevant transsexual, and a lot more. Give it a listen! And go read Frighten The Horses and Adult Human Male!
“I thought, ‘I’m coming out as trans in the book, so I’m going to upset all the nice, white English people, and at the same time, I’m coming out as upper-class English, so I’m possibly going to upset all the trans people because of my privilege.’ But it’s my story, and the truth of who I am.”
“One person’s steps is another person’s blind alley.”
“It may have taken me 50 years to get here, but I did it, and everything leads off from here.”
“It was hard to write about my relationship, because what you feel emotionally is so divorced from what you know intellectually.”
Enjoy the conversation! Then check out the archives for more great episodes!
Lots of ways to follow The Virtual Memories Show! iTunes, Spotify, BlueSky, Instagram, YouTube, Tumblr, and good ol’ RSS!
About our Guest
Oliver Radclyffe is a transgender writer whose work has appeared in the New York Times and Electric Literature, and his book of essays, Adult Human Male, was published in 2023 with Unbound Edition Press. He currently lives on the Connecticut coast, where he’s raising his four children. His new book is Frighten The Horses: A Memoir.
No pictures of his children, but we do have . . .
COOKIE!
and MUFFIN!
Credits: This episode’s music is Fella by Hal Mayforth, used with permission from the artist. The conversation was recorded at Oliver’s home on a pair of Blue enCORE 200 microphones feeding into a Zoom PodTrak P4 digital recorder & interface. I recorded the intro and outro on a Heil PR-40 Dynamic Studio Recording Microphone feeding into a Zoom PodTrak P4. All processing and editing done in Adobe Audition CC. Nice photo of Oliver by someone else; other pix by me. It’s on my instagram.