Panthers vs. Oilers? Sure. But the real battle is us vs. the 3-day hangover coming for Brandon’s bachelor party. Before the carnage, the boys wax poetic about the true cornerstones of civilization: dive bars. We’re talking roaches, ripped barstools, and a bathroom door that doesn’t lock. It’s gritty, it’s glorious, and it smells like last call. Buckle up.