Hey friend!

Thank you so much for being here!

On today's episode I'm taking you through the thoughts, feelings & experiences I had leading up to Tim's death anniversary, as well as the anniversary itself.

This is another raw & real episode as I am just sharing my experience & what I've been going through -- the messy middle; the highs & lows; & the moments that don't make sense & are hard to articulate.

We start by chatting about need to identify  what your body is telling you.  Your body remembers trauma - whatever level of trauma it was - & when you least expect it, your body responds to that traumatic memory long before your mind has any idea what's going on.  For example, have you ever felt really down & then a few days later - in a moment of clarity - you remember that this week marks __________ (fill in the blank).  That's because your body has remembered the trauma & hasn't fully realized that you are no longer living that trauma in real time.  When this 'muscle memory' comes up, you have to identify how your body is responding. 

Once you've identified what is happening in your body, it's time to fully feel your emotions.  Laugh, cry, get so mad you have to punch a pillow.  Whatever feelings are coming up, release them.  As uncomfortable as you may feel crying - possibly again - over this event, it's what your body needs to process the experience.  I released all of these emotions - & more - over the course of the last week, & it wasn't until I had identified what was going on in my body that I was fully able to release these emotions.  I do suggest than when you do embrace your emotions, you do so in a safe space. 

Finally, we chat about the duality of the loss & the emotions surrounding Tim's death.  I didn't know how I was going to feel going into this week because grief never gets easier; however, this year had the added layer of processing my feelings while being in a new relationship.  Ryan was truly wonderful over the course of the week - he let me cry, question; all of the things - butI couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt that I was with this man on Tim's anniversary & the fact that this whole anniversary was too much for Ryan.  *It wasn't too much for Ryan but my own insecurities, people pleasing tendencies that felt like it was.*

It's an episode full of thoughts, feelings & my honest, transparent experience.  I hope that my transparency helps you & helps you find clarity in whatever season of life you find yourself in.

I am so grateful you are here. xoxo

Also! as promised at the start of the episode, head over to https://www.gutpersonal.com/quiz, take their comprehensive gut health quiz & then use SWEATANDREFLECT10 for a discount! The Rescue allergy medicine will leave you feeling clear & covered!