June 07, 2024

episode 76 - why is no one hanging out anymore?

40 minutes

We stepped off the funny train to have a serious conversation about loneliness in your 30s and how to handle it as a single woman.

Loneliness hits different in your mid-30s. We're all in totally different eras of our lives, or at least our friends are. Some of us are spending weekday evening putting our kids to bed, some of us are out on a date, and some of us are sitting on the couch, flicking through channels, wondering what to do with ourselves.

What we discuss in this episode:

The antidote to loneliness is vulnerability. And you need to find people that see you for who you are in order to get to that vulnerability.

It’s important to put in the effort to be spontaneous. Go have that random drink with a friend you haven’t seen in awhile. If your Saturday night plans fall through, make the effort to create new ones. Give someone a call on a long drive. Go to the in-person workout. Those moments will give you more than a couple hours of scrolling or re-watching The Hills.

Those things that make you feel alive and connected to the world are typically experienced alongside other people. Continue to prioritize investing in those experiences even though they require life admin.

You can’t expect the same level of connection through seeing what your friends are doing on Instagram. But even though we don’t know how to classify the type of connection they give us, they do still offer some feeling of connection for us, especially with long-term relationships.

Community is another antidote to loneliness. Whether that’s online or in-person, being able to be a part of something as an adult acts as a proxy for the ‘third spaces’ (clubs, sports teams, etc.) we used to have as kids.

Chapters

00:00 Navigating Post-Holiday Blues and Loneliness

07:14 The Impact of Technology on Intimacy and Connection

11:00 The Significance of Vulnerability in Combatting Loneliness

14:05 The Challenge of Small Talk and Surface-Level Interactions

21:50 Navigating Loneliness in the Digital Age

32:00 The Challenge of Vulnerability in Relationships

35:18 Finding Community in the Modern World

In this episode we dive into an Atlantic article, an Esther Perel and Brene Brown podcast episode, and a few other reference points to chat through what it means to be lonely right now and how we can pull each other out of it.

We hope you enjoy!

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