Host: Bob . . . you live and work right here in Chicagoland, don't you?

Bob: Yes, Dick, that's right, as you well know . . . I'm an ornamental gargoyle for an exclusive office building.

Host: Wow! That sounds like a pretty challenging job! You'd have to hold still for long periods of time, wouldn't you?

Bob: I do, yeah. I'm on the fourth floor, but that's never been a problem with me, holding still. I got a cousin who's on the thirty-ninth floor of a building down town. He gets away with w-a-a-y more than I do. Scratching, stretching. Taking occasional naps. Nobody ever notices because he's up so high.
Me, I'm twelve feet from a long window with desks and chairs and humans! At night I get a little more leeway, but people look at me all day. Look, If I wasn't supposed to be looked at they wouldn't have put me there. But, like I say it's never been a problem. Until you came along.

Host: To tell you the truth, Bob, I'm kinda surpriesed to hear that there really are such things as goblins at all. I've always understood that goblins were strictly fictional.

Bob: Well, there you go. And we were kinda hopin' to keep it that way.