Pretty, Petty, and Penalized

Welcome to the podcast where we spend $400 on "no-makeup" makeup just to look like we’ve had a decent night’s sleep. We’re dissecting the high-maintenance quest to look low-maintenance, and why the "clean girl" aesthetic is finally being replaced by bold lips and even bolder delusions.

In this episode:

• Bieberchella Weekend 2: Justin brought out everyone but his licensed therapist. We’re discussing why Weekend 2 is the superior, "influencer-lite" experience and how Billie Eilish being serenaded with One Less Lonely Girl is the only thing keeping our dopamine levels afloat.
• Hawkeye Heartbreak: The NCAA finally noticed Iowa exists, and they aren’t happy. We’re breaking down the "punishment" for the football team—because apparently, tampering with a Michigan QB is the only thing the NCAA finds more offensive than Iowa’s 2023 offensive line.
• The Upkeep Tax: From the rise of "savory" fragrances (who doesn't want to smell like a gourmet snack?) to the peptide-therapy rabbit hole, we’re tallying the cost of existing as a woman in 2026. Spoiler: It’s expensive, exhausting, and involves way too much fringe.

Grab your overpriced iced coffee and let’s get into the mess.

New episodes every Friday. Subscribe before the NCAA vacates our download counts too.